even though they were nothing fancy

today, 

all my dreams came true.

when max got mad at brennan,

for not letting her play freeze tag the way she wanted to.

or maybe he got her out in their imaginary game of baseball?

anyway, she stomped off the field,

sat down in front of me on the bleachers next to dean in his stroller,

and simply asked me,

"will you play with my hair?"

{this is the first time she's ever asked me to do this, you see--and i've basically been waiting for this moment forever and not even KNOWN i was waiting for this moment forever. 

have you ever had one of those before?}

she didn't look up at me.

her eyes were on the boys out in the field the entire time.

her voice was something like aggigated, fed up, and happy to have a reason to sit down all at once.

i will never forget that moment for my whole entire life.

after i french braided her hair twice,

and let it go twice,

she ran over to get her barbie scooter,

and we all walked home.

brennan was yelling at somebody,

chase was crying because he was thirsty,

then max started crying because brennan ran over her left pinky toe with his bike {on accident},

and sean and i were just looking at each other chuckling {we slept really well last night, you see, and when you sleep well, you can handle chaos of this nature with much more humor than if you hadn't},

and i just couldn't help but BEAM from ear to ear.

like i was floating up in the clouds around that park,

but the tennis courts and the water fountain.

these are the days.

the good old days.

right now:)

{you've never seen anybody as fast as chase ray on a trike. he rides it like his HOG. 

like a BOSS on his HOG. i love him for it.}

and somewhere in the middle of all of that,

i looked down at my feet,

and the leaves,

even though they were nothing fancy,

and it all literally took my breath away with dean looking right at me.

i wish every sunday could be this good.

"i wish i was batman." -brennan {THE CATS}

-friday october 18th, 2013-

looking up at the stars in the hot tub our last night,

brennan closed his eyes as tightly as he could, 

and with all of his 5 year old might he whispered,

"i wish i was batman."

and then he opened his eyes,

thinking none of us had heard.

with a secret in his smile.

you know,

the kind where you are the only one on the planet 

that knows what you're thinking right at that very moment.

and you're just so excited to know what you know,

that you can't help but smile it to everyone around you.

because it's just so so good of a secret to have with yourself.

except we all knew,

but he didn't think we knew.

top 5 brennan moments of his entire life.

check.

 and then came the on board entertainment...

dancing cats.

sean: "brennan, what was your favorite part of the train?"

brennan: "THE CATS."

 and then we all had a good hard laugh.

because it just wasn't what we had expected him to say.

and then we hot tubbed until after 10,

and put the kids to bed late.

and of course everyone still woke up before 8,

but it was so totally worth it;)

THE END.

knowing what it feels like {Olympic Park}

-friday october 18th, 2013-

you know the movie 

"a league of their own"

where they go to the baseball museum at the end,

and all of the ladies are there with their kids and grandkids,

and they're looking at the old baseball pictures of themselves and their teams,

and all of the memorabilia from their heyday of playing women's baseball during the war?

well that's what it was like walking through the 2002 salt lake city olympic 

memorabilia museum with my mom and my kids.

because when i saw the skiers in the black and white pictures on the wall,

i was scanning the pictures for my mom.

i just wouldn't have been surprised to see her in one of them.

and then she was like,

"Emily!!!"

and i thought to myself,

welp, there she is. i bet she found herself in one of those old pictures.

but then when i got over to her i realized that she wasn't in the picture,

but that she should have been.

because she was all,

"i was there! i did that! 

my senior year of high school! 

1963 and 64!"

and i was like,

"no way!"

and she was all,

"yes!!! and back then

we bought these punch passes to ski,

and your card had 10 punches,

and to do Thaynes Shaft one time 

it took TWO punches,

but it was so totally worth it,

so you did it because it was awesome,

and you went up in these mining cars,

and then up an elevator,

and you'd come out on top of the mountain, 

and then you got to ski down,

and i did this!

{pointing at the picture with a big, huge happy smile on her face, beaming so proud.}

can you believe i did this?!"

and i was just so happy to be there with her.

watching her hold chase in her arms.

telling us about a part of her life that i had never heard about before.

you know,

like one of those moments when you remember that your mom is a real person,

who had a real life before she was your mom,

and then you realize that your kids won't see you like that for a really really long time.

and it was just one of those great life moments.

2 minutes. 

tops:)

the kids were fascinated by the zip liners that would swoop down on cables right across the long jump.

i'm pretty sure they thought the green jump slopes were giant slides.

my favorite place to stand at the bottom of anything,

is right there at the bottom of those jumping slopes.

they make you feel so small.

but in a good way.

and for a minute i try to pretend what it might feel like to be Olympian.

walking in front of these massive slopes for the first time.

and how amazing it must be to stand at the bottom of them.

and then i think about how it's too bad i never wanted to be an Olympian

because that really must feel amazing.

but then this time,

i stood there staring at my kids stare at those slopes,

and it hit me.

i already know what it feels like:)

autumn's front porch.

-thursday ocotober 17th, 2013-

the falling leaves delivered us onto autumn's front porch, 

like sipping cider 

on a wooden rocking chair

with a field 

of pumpkins 

at our 

feet.

it was like some kind of paradise

that you only see in the movies,

or a martha stewart magazine.

and i just felt like the luckiest person alive.

 and then they did that about 20 more times in a row.

but my favorite part of the entire hour 

was the ten minutes where brennan and i laid under that beautiful tree.

looking up into its leaves.

i told him that if he laid there with me,

still as still could be,

it would be good luck if a leaf fell on him.

as long as it fell there without either of us moving.

just straight down from the sky on top of us.

so we laid there,

and max and chase would come and go,

and he and i would not move a muscle,

and the wind would blow,

and the leaves would sift themselves from the limbs to the lawn,

and then ever so often,

some would fall right into our hands.

or brush us across our faces.

or miss us right at the very last minute,

when we were sure one was going to fall right on top of us.

and brennan would giggle and belly laugh next to me,

and we wouldn't move,

we would just lay still as still could be.

except when chase wanted to body slam us.

or when we caught the lucky leaf.

and then when we came inside to put chase to bed,

two black spiders jumped off of my coat in two different places of the house,

one on my bed, and one on the stairs,

and i was glad that we were done playing in the leaves for the day:)

GASP.