but now there's one underneath the dishwasher too {there's a FRANK for that}

dehumidifiers.

fans.

heaters.

and more fans.

that's what our house has been like since monday.

because at 5:30am sean came downstairs to start paperwork to a small pond in our kitchen.

every time chase comes inside he turns off the fans in the kitchen and yells at me that they're too loud and to turn them off.

i'm so glad it's warm outside because aint nobody wants to be inside a house full of super charged fans.

i turn them off at meal times.

it's heaven:)

thank you dishwasher.

thank you for waiting until the basement was finished to do this:)

wait, thank you for NOT waiting another 6 1/2 weeks.

actually, what if the ceiling wasn't there to catch all of that water?

everything that was down there...books...pictures...treadmill...would have all been soaked.

so really we feel like we dodged the bullet on this one.

the insulation soaked up most of the water.

the damage to the ceiling in brennan's room looks like it's going to suck back up and never be noticed again.

and the kitchen floor.

which is now bowing up and needing to be replaced.

well, we aren't so sad to say goodbye to it anyway.

so if i don't think about the money at all,

it's actually not so bad.

because guess what,

as of tomorrow,

i won't have carpet under my kitchen table anymore.

just don't think about the money though...

after two days not one single appliance guy ever being able figure out why the dishwasher actually flooded our house, sean and i laid on the floor for half an hour with flashlights on wadded up towels with it running. waiting on pins and needles, praying for it to pee its pants so ta speak.

and well,

that darn dishwasher wouldn't perform.

it was dry as a bone. 

the 

entire 

time.

sean laid there for another hour and a half.

and still nothing.

not one drop ever.

never have we ever been so happy we spent $99 on RC willey's extended warranty.

bc now a brand spanking new dishwasher is coming to the gibson home next week.

after the floors go in.

and maybe life will return to normal for a few weeks before it won't again.

not gonna lie though.

trusting the metal box in my kitchen with the sprinkler inside of it 

won't ever be so easy for me ever again.

water alarms.

we have them all over our house.

but now there's one underneath the dishwasher too:)

lesson learned.

also, don't lay on the floor at 32 weeks pregnant for half an hour on wadded up towels.

not smart.

...

{a HUGE thank you to our good friend FRANK for always coming to our flooding emergencies before i have time to cry for too long. if you need FRANK, you can call him at Anchor Water Damage & Restoration 801.269.0343. no one will treat ya kinder. NOBODY! 

for once, the wet bandit wasn't max. who knew!? 

whatever or whomever your wet bandit is, i assure you, there's a FRANK for that.}

years old that is {watership down and chapter 2}

T.G.I.F.

it's so different at 32 than it was at 25.

years old i mean.

like, for once, i'm not in a rush to not be pregnant,

even though my varicose veins are A MESS.

reeeeaaaaalllly a mess.

and there's for sure another 8 pounds of baby that's gonna be weighed onto those already overly stressed veins, plus whatever i'm eating in chocolate peanut butter tillamook ice cream several times a week,

but it doesn't really matter.

the pain.

i don't know why.

i just know it's not as big of a deal as it used to be, even though they're worse this time than any other.

maybe that's just the compression tights talking.

it's probably just the 23 weeks talking.

i'm just saying that i think after 4 times of this rodeo,

i've finally figured out how to enjoy the getting there.

because i know that once we're there,

it will all be different again.

and i will miss the way icy cold juice tastes,

and the way food just caaaaaaallllls to me.

like bacon.

and the other day when neil was eating my pepperoni pizza and breadsticks on the back patio, enjoying this unseasonably warm february NOT WINTER weather,

he was all, "the best time in your life is right now."

and i was like, "that's what they tell me. when you're kids are young, enjoy it. i'm loving it!"

and he was all, "no, what i'm saaaaaying is, IS that the BEST time in your life is RIGHT NOW. no matter what stage you're in. THIS time right now is the best time in your life, and THIS time in my life is the best time of my life, just like it was when i was in your phase of life when IT was the best time of my life. cathy and i have no schedule, no one to take care of, nowhere to be, except walking the new puppy and playing with the grandkids, and it's THE BEST! but when we were young bucks, raising all of our little kids, THAT was the best time of our life. the time you're IN, the exact time you're IN that very moment, that's always the best time of your life right then."

and it's not like they've had a perfect life their entire life or anything like that.

it's just that they "get it."

life, you know.

and i sat there with the vitamin D soaking into my face thinking about that while i ate the strawberries chase left on his lunch plate, and i realized how genius it was.

and so cliche. 

but i'd just never really thought it about like he explained it.

even though i've heard it a thousand times in a different, but same way before.

no time like the present.

there's no time like the present!

now this is where you tune out and roll your eyes, "like here she goes all joy in the journey on me."

but that's not what i'm saying.

and please something take that tile down from my kitchen counter anyway.

what i'm saying is that the summer before senior year i had to read watership down for AP english.

i HATED watership down.

i also wasn't fond of AP english, but that's another story.

i still get anxiety thinking about that book and the talking bunnies.

that book that felt like 1000 pages of TALKING BUNNIES.

it was NOT my jam.

and so when i was on page 63, and chapter 1 still wasn't going to be over until page 103 {hypothetically, are you with me???},

i'd sit there and read a page and go "only 40 more pages until chapter 2...only 39 more pages until chapter 2...only 38 more pages until chapter 2..."

all the way to chapter two.

and then finally i'd get to chapter 2, and the entire thing started over for chapter 3.

just get through it so you can be done.

and so many times in my life i feel like i've had those moments.

just get through it so you can be done.

count down.

and as long as you KNOW it's the best time of your life while your'e in it,

that's the gift.

just BEING on page 63.

even though chapter 2 isn't until page 103.

and there's a lot of work and time and patience required in getting to chapter 2 on page 103.

but you'll never be on page 63 again.

you'll never read it that same way ever again,

even if you read the book again.

so i guess what i'm saying is that i feel this shift deep down inside of me.

like i'm learning to appreciate the good in all of my seasons.

even the ones that aren't my favorite.

like sean working saturdays,

and chase pooping in his underwear,

and max scratching people's faces,

because page 63 might be filled with poop and exhaustion,

but it's also filled with almost 3 year olds that want to sit on my lap just to be held,

and almost 7 year olds that tell you you're the most perfect morning waker-upper ever because you knew they were at the end of their sweetest dream and now can you make them pancakes please?

and 5 year olds that play barbies on the front window seat in the 5 o'clock sun with you.

and those parts of "page 63" make the getting to "page 103" so much more amazing.

because anything bad along the way is just different.

it can be good and it can be bad,

but whatever you're doing and whatever phase you're in CAN be the best time in your life.

if you will just let it be.

in the face of the things that aren't perfect while you're in it.

i can't tell you how many times i've looked back on the time when i was pregnant with maxine,

with brennan being one.

and i was SO excited to have another baby.

to do it all again.

especially to be having a girl! and it made me feel so girly,

and i was in SUCH a rush to finally be a mom with two kids

that i think i missed brennan being one for a little bit at the end there.

and then when i was pregnant with chase, i was just sooooo not wanting to be pregnant because i was soooo consumed with the pain of my varicose veins, and the weight of carrying that giant baby up and down all of the stairs in our house in my tummy that i just wanted him out 

and here so we could get on with things.

and i could tackle this three kid business that everyone wouldn't stop talking about.

sure i enjoyed brennan and max during that time,

but not like now.

i feel like i'm savoring every day with my family just as it is right now.

because i know that in some 16 or 17 weeks that this time in my life with almost 7 year old brennan, 5 year old max, and almost 3 year old chase will be over.

and a new and different time will begin.

the good, the difficult, the new, the familiar, all of it.

but it's like i don't have anything to prove or get through for once.

because i'm just being.

being on "page 63."

and just like i yearn to go back and live one day with one year old brennan,

watching the hills on my recorded VHS tapes,

and eating lunch in a quiet house with a napping little one year old boy and max in my belly,

and just like i wish i could go back to holding baby maxine at 3 days old,

and going to the children's museum with 3 year old brennan and 1 year old max, and chase in my belly,

i know this time that i'll treasure these days just like those,

the time where i got brennan off to school in the morning, made his lunch, cooked him breakfast, put on his socks and tied his shoes without any other stresses than trying to do it all before susie shows up for morning carpool,

the time where max shows up at the top of the stairs with her beaming bright eyed smile that lights up the entire house with sean getting in the shower for work,

and at some point the creek of chase's door signaling us that someone needs to run up and help him go pee, and then gosh darn it and for heaven's sake somebody have his milk ready for him.

so right now, i'm taking the time to treasure them. 

right now as they are.

almost 7, 5, and almost 3.

not worrying about how long it will take the finish the basement,

but enjoying that it's just going on.

and the life that all of it brings to this amazing little house we are living in.

which is something i just don't know if i've done like i am doing right now.

maybe it's that i'm 32 and not 25.

years old that is.

i could never be a CPA.

no matter how hard i try to avoid it,

getting everything ready for the taxes takes 6 hours,

where i am sitting on the floor with 5 million papers sprawled out everywhere in a circle around me,

and i'm always up until 3am the night before we file.

always.

have mercy.

i want to throw up.

but when it's all said and done,

i feel like i did the night i finished my 8th grade research project on women in the civil war.

glad to be done.

organized and accomplished.

with my 6" tall stack of receipts, calculations, and detailed outline of the last year.

and i'm always so proud to turn it all over to the CPA.

god bless him.

...

"The reward of a thing well done, is to have it done."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson 

where's the humanity!!??!! {the binky fairy}

we were looking for jessie stuff.

as in the toy story cowgirl--yeeeeeeHOOOOOOO!

pictures to hang on her wall.

or cowgirl stuff.

whatever we could find.

b/c she keeps telling us that she doesn't want to sleep 

in brennan's room anymore with all of the boy cowboy stuff.

'cause she's a girl.

that's why.

except the only jessie stuff walmart had was a $42 doll.

and really,

i did not want to spend $42 on a doll.

so before we left we ran around the corner to the bikes.

and talked about how when santa comes wouldn't it be awesome to give him her binkies for a bike?!

max: can i ride the bike?

me: yes! and we can take the bike home if you want to give santa your binkies!

max: today?!

me: sure! santa can bring you a bike tonight! 

{what? didn't your mother ever tell you the elves work all year long? they do.}

max: i don't want to give santa my binkies.

me: ok, let's ride the bike to the posters to see if there's a jessie poster.

max: ok.

after that,

she

was

hooked.

max: mommy, i don't need my binkies. big girls with bikes like these don't need binkies.

me: so you're ready to give santa your binkies?

max: nope. {in a whisper} i want to throw them in the trash! i still have them at night?

me: nope. if we get the bike there's no more binkies anymore ever.

{she thinks...and thinks...}

max: i throw them away!!!!! let's get the bike.

me: {i'm panicking. this is not what i planned. i thought we had 3 more months of binky bliss!}

{compose yourself, deep breaths, smile}

ok awesome!!! 

you know this means there will be NO MORE binkies.

not even at night.

you can throw them away,

or give them to the binky fairy,

or santa,

whatever,

but the binkies are gone.

max: YES!

me: let's go buy the bike.

max: woohoo!!!

...

so she rode the bike to the checkout,

and out through the parking lot.

when she got home she ran through the house,

gathering the only 2 binkies we have left,

and threw them into the trash.

with a big proud smile on her face.

and for an hour she rode up and down our street.

in the freezing cold.

with minnie mouse and her panda {minus the binky} 

strapped into the pink puffy car seat off of the back of the built in princess seat.

and then after dinner,

she got all into her jammies,

brushed her teeth,

went potty,

and headed for her bed,

and

then

it

hit

her.

she wanted her binkies.

she burst into tears.

told us she wanted her binkies back!

didn't want them gone!

over and over and over again.

with the saddest little face,

and big huge crocodile tears.

but we were in it now.

that was the first thing i thought.

and then i thought, why did i let her throw them into the trash!

why didn't i tell her to just leave them out on the counter?

we could bag it and just get them if we hadn't have thrown then into the trash!

but now those precious binkies were in the blue garbage cans on the side of the house.

sitting among diapers and garbage.

stinky smelly diapers.

WHY OH WHY!?

where's the humanity in that!?

my heart was aching for her.

being an avid thumb sucker until the right bold age of 14 you see.

there was no girl who loved sucking her thumb more than me.

i can still remember how lovely it was.

but there was just no going back to the binkies now.

her little face was just so sad.

and all i could offer was to say a prayer,

and cuddle her until she fell asleep.

{ok, maybe i also gave her some benedryl. 

in my defense, she did have a runny nose. 

and possibly a rash. 

or what looked like a scratch that MIGHT turn into a rash. 

and my pediatrician always tells me,

that a runny nose and something that MIGHT turn into a rash 

are perfectly good reasons to pull out the benedryl.

he is the best, i know.

see, totally justifiable use for benedryl.

and pediatrician recommended. ha!}

so when she was beside herself in my binky is gone agony,

i asked her if she wanted the binky fairy to leave her a note in the night.

and that she would come only when max fell asleep.

and what did the binky fairy look like anyway?

at which point she gathered herself enough 

to choke out her self-made binky fairy description.

white dress.

pink shoes.

purple and pink hair.

purple and pink wings.

blue eyes.

rainbow fairy dust.

then she asked for dad.

sean came in,

i laid under the blankets with brennan in his bed,

and we all fell asleep.

when it was almost 10 sean woke me up,

and i staggered downstairs to clean up dinner.

so grateful the binky fairy did the rest.

did you know binky fairies PEE GLITTER.

i know,

it was news to us too.

she also left her glitter all over the trash cans,

kitchen table and floors,

on max's new princess bike {silly fairy thought she was big enough},

and finally in max's car seat.

i wish you could have seen max's face in the morning.

so proud.

that she'd done it.

me too max.

me too.

pomp and circumstance

brennan graduated from preschool today.

i can't believe i'm going to be a REAL mom with a REAL kindergartner in the fall.

my favorite part of the year end program was watching brennan shake his bum next to eden, 

doing all of the pinky grabs, little hand movements,
and twists to the floor to the three different songs in spanish.
waving balloons on sticks to different parts of the songs.
26 preschoolers doing what looked like the cha-cha.
so SO cute.

{all three of my kids fought over the balloons on sticks for the rest of the night.
they were a BIG hit! balloons=magic. always.}

he's growing up.

i'm happy and sad about it.

and it feels so cliche,

but i can feel that my life is on the cusp of change.

it's almost palpable.

and i just keep reminding myself to savor every minute until it does.
b/c there's a shift a'comin'.

so strange.

     eden & brennan                                                                   cade & brennan

chase squawked at the balloon the entire time.

and pulled the stick off of the balloon about a hundred times.

hilarious.

max grandma hopped between grandma gibson and grandma carol.

my busy max,

back and forth:)

miss kim and brennan.

missing: miss jamie

WE LOVE 

miss kim & miss jamie:)

i feel like i might have strep again.

but whenever i have a sore throat i always think i might have strep first.

PTSD from last winter still.

i wanted to lay down on the floor of the park pavilion while we were watching 

brennan get his little preschool diploma.

i was so glad brennan picked to go to shave ice after.

my throat was so happy sucking down that deliciously flavored ice.

it's probably just a cold.

i have this super sexy raspy voice though.

yeah baby.

pass the NyQuil.

good night:)

32lbs of pure pink

32lbs of pink

and 37.6 inches tall.

almost ready for a booster.

can't wait!!!

this weekend i remembered i used to be in musicals.

mary, me, johnny,& sean

MISSING: audrey

{we couldn't find her for the picture}

...

"last friday niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight"

mary played "taylor mckessie"

johnny played "james"

and audrey was in the ensemble.

johnny wore his stage makeup and called his mascara "MANscara."

mary and audrey looked so grown up,

and johnny's rendition of pretending the be "the worm" brought the house down.

he is one funny guy.

they were all SOOOOO cute.

it made me think about all of the hours i spent practicing for musicals back in my high school days.

and i vowed to go to more plays and musicals from here on out.

{sean is sooooo gangsta}

they tell me this kid is famous.