"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

scary words and a breathing treatment

at the pediatrician tonight i heard...
bronchitis
rsv (ew, scary)
hospital
oxygen levels low
wheezing "not good"
there's no way you could be talking about my brennan.
not possible.
you grabbed the wrong chart.
for goodness sakes, he was breastfed!!!
no possible way he could ever EVER get sick.
did i mention he was breastfed?
(i really did feel the urge to tell the nurse this, but did not, i held back, go me!)
if you'll notice in the picture above (that the good nurse allowed me to take) it shows brennan getting his oxygen levels tested.
did you know they can do that with a light, and a light alone!?
me neither.
it's amazing.
the light reads the oxygen levels in the blood from outside the body.
somehow it just pentrates through and knows.
(sean tells me they use this all the time in physical therapy stuff, but it was news to me).
anyway, back to the story.
so brennan's oxygen tested at 87%.
they tell me this is "not good."
not "extremely bad."
just "not good."
well, what a relief;-)
would you look at the calves on that kid of mine!
sorry, back to the story.
so they used the following device, taken pre-deep suctioning
(it took 2 nurses and me to hold him down, poor little guy!) :

i snapped this picture while the nurse left to get some saline.
for heavens sake, i can't let them know that i am one of "those picture documenting people."
this proves i do have some pride left;-)
so they used this device to...
we'll just say to relieve his nasal cavities for better breathing.
which it did.
his oxygen went back up to 93%.
they tell me this is "okay."
out of the "not good" category at least!
although jess tells me they were just being nice b/c she says it's still in the "not good" category.
he is to have breathing treatments until friday, with saline, and good old fashioned suctioning.
then they want to see him again for an O-2 test and possibly more deep suctioning.
if it's better, we're all happy.
and we'll just think about that scenario for now;-)
...
so all of this has me thinking.
about being a bit judgemental.
talking about me that is.
judging others.
i know, i'm sorry.
i confess.
i've heard of other babies getting rsv, bronchitis, and such.
and i thunk it.
"gasp, how irresponsible of those mothers.
they should have been more careful"
oh geese...now it's me.
but i was careful.
and responsible.
and did i mention he's breastfed!!??
still!
my point?
the more brennan gets sick,
the more he does things differently than the norm,
the more he turns into his own person,
the more i realize that i am the only person who knows what's best for brennan.
not any other child.
just brennan.
the other children have their mom's that know what's right for them.
so next time i find myself thinking
"they should do it my way"
or
"this way is much better"
or
"i heard so and so did this or that"
i will stop myself
b/c i only know which way is best for brennan.
i'm not saying advice is a bad thing.
i think talking with other mothers about what they find successful and not is first class!
i'm saying, i'm finding myself more and more in those situations i swore would never happen to me.
i guess i'm stepping down off my high horse.
and boy, does the ground feel good.
tune in tomorrow to see his breathing treatment device, it's a doozy!

9 comments:

Fiauna said...

I am also one of those moms who snaps pictures in the Dr.'s office. Last week my daughter had some testing at the hospital--oh yeah, my camera was snapping away so I could blog when I got home.

Hope your little guy is doing better.

Gilbert Family said...

awww poor little b. there are a couple of kids and babies in my ward that had rsv pretty bad, one was almost fatal, and they ALL got 100% better. i know you are in the best hands. hang in there! you are doing a great job!

Amy said...

I totally know the scariness of the "nose sucker" as we were loaned one for the first six months or so of my son's life. They all told me he was just getting used to the dry air that was not in the womb and that it was completely natural, but when it is your first child, and he is having trouble breathing, it is the end of the world! Don't worry, that machine is a life saver... and you can see all the snot that such a little person can produce in such a short amount of time.

Sue said...

Sorry to hear Brennan's under the weather, Emily. At least he's more than a couple of months old and has some weight on him in case he loses his appetite for a few days.

My grandson had rsv. No fun, but he got over it fine, though he did have to go on prednisone for a brief time to clear things up.

I still don't get why they don't vaccinate every child against this. Only the preemies get vaccinated.

Anyway, we'll keep him in our prayers over here.

Buckeye Nut said...

Oh, poor little guy. How crazy. Hope he is feeling better quickly. Don't worry about being a crazy picture mom. I took a pic of Seth when they had to put an IV in his foot. I about died.

Aris said...

I hope our little guy is feeling better soon

Natalie said...

Oh, poor little guy. I'm so sorry.
Hope he is well very soon!

As for your revelations about yourself...can I just say, I love you!

The Cuties' Mommy said...

I, too, am one of the those moms...at 1 month old, my Lily had RSV. I thought I did something wrong, too - but, I didn't. I was snapping pictures of her with oxygen in the hospital bed. I'm thinking of your little one. Feel better soon!!

Levi and Katie Hansen said...

That is so scary! I hope that he feels better soon! I know that when we left the hospital Addi's pediatrician lectured us for about thirty minutes about how RSV is just the basic Adult common cold, but deadly for babies...and said that we could not take her out (except to the doctor) until mid march, and not to church until spring...so we havn't. HUGE inconvience, but hopefully it prevents it. I am soo sorry that you are dealing with this right now. We will keep Brennan in our prayers.***hope you enjoyed my informational story:)***