scary words and a breathing treatment

at the pediatrician tonight i heard...

bronchitis

rsv (ew, scary)
hospital

oxygen levels low

wheezing "not good"

there's no way you could be talking about my brennan.
not possible.
you grabbed the wrong chart.
for goodness sakes, he was breastfed!!!
no possible way he could ever EVER get sick.
did i mention he was breastfed?
(i really did feel the urge to tell the nurse this, but did not, i held back, go me!)
if you'll notice in the picture above (that the good nurse allowed me to take) it shows brennan getting his oxygen levels tested.
did you know they can do that with a light, and a light alone!?
me neither.
it's amazing.
the light reads the oxygen levels in the blood from outside the body.
somehow it just pentrates through and knows.
(sean tells me they use this all the time in physical therapy stuff, but it was news to me).
anyway, back to the story.
so brennan's oxygen tested at 87%.
they tell me this is "not good."
not "extremely bad."
just "not good."
well, what a relief;-)
would you look at the calves on that kid of mine!
sorry, back to the story.
so they used the following device, taken pre-deep suctioning
(it took 2 nurses and me to hold him down, poor little guy!) :
i snapped this picture while the nurse left to get some saline.
for heavens sake, i can't let them know that i am one of "those picture documenting people."
this proves i do have some pride left;-)
so they used this device to...
we'll just say to relieve his nasal cavities for better breathing.
which it did.
his oxygen went back up to 93%.
they tell me this is "okay."
out of the "not good" category at least!
although jess tells me they were just being nice b/c she says it's still in the "not good" category.
he is to have breathing treatments until friday, with saline, and good old fashioned suctioning.
then they want to see him again for an O-2 test and possibly more deep suctioning.
if it's better, we're all happy.

and we'll just think about that scenario for now;-)

...
so all of this has me thinking.
about being a bit judgemental.
talking about me that is.
judging others.
i know, i'm sorry.
i confess.
i've heard of other babies getting rsv, bronchitis, and such.
and i thunk it.
"gasp, how irresponsible of those mothers.
they should have been more careful"
oh geese...now it's me.
but i was careful.
and responsible.
and did i mention he's breastfed!!??
still!
my point?
the more brennan gets sick,
the more he does things differently than the norm,
the more he turns into his own person,
the more i realize that i am the only person who knows what's best for brennan.
not any other child.
just brennan.
the other children have their mom's that know what's right for them.
so next time i find myself thinking
"they should do it my way"
or
"this way is much better"
or
"i heard so and so did this or that"
i will stop myself
b/c i only know which way is best for brennan.
i'm not saying advice is a bad thing.
i think talking with other mothers about what they find successful and not is first class!
i'm saying, i'm finding myself more and more in those situations i swore would never happen to me.
i guess i'm stepping down off my high horse.
and boy, does the ground feel good.

tune in tomorrow to see his breathing treatment device, it's a doozy!