clusters

i had a dream once that pepper seeds were clustered under my toes.
i remember flaking them off with my thumb.
the thought of it still gives me the shivers.
i hate clusters.
they creep me out.
like the trout fish that cluster in the corner of the tank at the aquarium.
but most of all,
i hate the seed clusters in peppers.
love peppers.
raw.
but i cut them as fast as i can.
throw out the seeded part.
maggot looking things they are.
and pretend that it never existed.
heebie jeebies in its fullest.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
...
in other news...
dr. N says i'm made for having babies.
i asked him if he could figure out a way for the next one to not need to eat in the middle of the night.
he said he's still working on that one.
he gave me a hug and said see you in a year.
i always feel like i'm leaving a friend behind after the 6 week check.
i want to sell my extra breastmilk.
jess tells me the intense boob people think it's unethical.
apparently they feel it should be donated.
so that they can then sell it.
uh huh.
does that make sense to anyone else?
max's new trick is being able to hold her head up for a few seconds.
it's pretty fancy.
brennan thinks his name is "me."
ask him, he'll tell you.
i give you, "me."