just be

i'm

BURSTING

i'm so happy:)

i have wanted to be a mother my entire life.

and on the good days there is nothing more intoxicating than watching my children just be.

just be little ninja's with ribbons around their heads from gifts brought over for chase.

doing "cowa-punch" kicks to fight off the bad guys.

having talent shows in the big room.

showing us how to "rock it."

having races around the kitchen table.

having really loud burps and then spitting up all over himself and me,

only to have a face of absolute and utter relief.

like it was the best burp of his 10 day old life.

b/c it probably was.

having perfectly warmed milk send him into a state of utter drunkenness.

laying curled up on my chest,

purring.

sweet little noises of newborn chase.

singing twinkle twinkle little star and baby beluga to brennan,

running my fingers through his hair as he doses off into dreamland.

with sean making max giggle in the room next door.

warming my feet on sean's side of the bed after nursing chase in the middle of the night.

with a quiet house and eyes that i can hardly keep open.

i have wanted to be a mother my entire life.

and it is the greatest life i could have ever imagined.

to just be

a mother.