"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, April 13, 2012

letters to Beth {3 kids, night sweats, & fighting kids}

Dear Beth,
        I am so glad you finally got my package! I can't believe it took two weeks, but I am just glad it made it. That little lamb is so darling. I love it so much. Today was the first day where I was bored and agitated since having Chase. I chalk it up to the weather and no visitors. We just had a normal day at home. Brennan was whining all day and fighting with Max the rest of it. Fortunately, Chase still sleeps all of the time so I don't really feel like I have 3 kids yet. Just a little toy to play baby doll with all day. I particularly like to smooch his amazing cheeks. Sean says all during the night he hears me say "Chase, I love you. Chase you're so cute" when I'm up nursing. Since he pointed it out it now seems like a cliche when I say it, but he is right, I really do say those two lines over and over again. I can't help myself. He's just so wonderful. Max has been sick since Sunday. We have gone through soap like I go through water. You KNOW how much that is. I have been wearing two shirts so that I can take one off to hold Chase and put the other back on to hold Max. Her little germs are everywhere, and I look at her hands like they are poison, but I don't want her to feel that way, so it's been quite the juggling act. I'm worried that despite all of my efforts the bugs have finally caught up with Chase b/c he has a booger in his nose this morning and has been sneezing, and not just the newborn sneezes, as I know those are normal. Let's hope I am just being paranoid. We will keep anti-back-ing still the same.

        I just think you are amazing to nurse on such a strict diet for allergies. I admire you so much for being able to do that, AND you made my boring agitated state this morning smile and laugh over your conversations with croissants. Your banter is just so entertaining, and I wish for nothing more than for you to come home immediately and banter in my kitchen. I could really use those chocolate covered strawberries rolled in peanut butter cups right now. I think every person in my house today needs a nap, especially me. It appears the newborn honeymoon is not in affect as of this moment. Pity. I am so glad that you got your craving for chocolate fulfilled. I laughed really hard at Bryce saying they couldn't even be called cookies.

        Chase's hair looks blonde in the sun and red inside. It is definitely more red than blonde though b/c even in the sun you can see red kissed with streaks of sun kissed blonde. It is the most beautiful hair color you've ever seen, especially when it is all washed. We had his newborn pictures taken on Thursday, and I can't wait to see all of the prints. The photographer let me take one shot on my phone to take home. Click here to see it. He was so adorable and didn't pee or poop on any of us the entire time. There was one shot where I was holding him really close to my face, and I was VERY afraid that if he peed it would shoot me straight in the face. He was a good boy and didn't. Bless him. Now that I have oodles of milk he is a happy happy man all day and all night. It is wonderful. The new baby is always the easy one in the beginning if they are healthy and well fed. It is definitely the other two that are the most challenging when it comes to being a mother of 3. When the "bigs" fight and go stir crazy things get rough REAL fast. {pardon my misuse of grammar for effect/affect?}.

        I've had the night sweats with post birth this time. Did you have them? I got them with Brennan. Not with Max. I swear it makes the LB's come off faster. Nursing is my favorite thing on the planet. Not only do I get to sit down and relax every three hours for 20-30 minutes, but I get to eat everything and anything all day long. It is lovely, and I want to thank my body for being so good to me. It is truly amazing. I will say that it is still harder to recover from a 9lb baby than it is to recover from a 7lb baby, even when it is your third. The first three days were not too fun, and the epidural site hurt just as much as everything else b/c the anesthesiologist said I had small spaces between my vertebrae. I thought it was weird that the other two previous doctors never had problems with this AND never mentioned it either when they placed my epidural. He on the other hand just kept shoving and adding more numbing medicine to shove some more. I knew it was going to be sore the next day, but I was ever so grateful for the good block that he gave me, nonetheless. It is not as hard to get up and nurse in the middle of the night with Chase, and I've been taking afternoon naps when Max is down while Brennan plays computer games. He calls his games "dot com," and I think it's really cute. He is a great kid and is so sweet with Chase. Max likes to hit Chase on the head when I'm nursing and won't let her sit with us in the recliner b/c of her cold. Then she kisses him on the head and thinks everything is right again in the world. It makes me not happy. She doesn't really care that much.

        Despite my "whining-s" from today, I have been blissfully happy with our new addition. I could not have imagined a smoother transition, and know it will not last, but am enjoying it while it lasts. But am secretly hoping it will last forever, all at the same time.  The weather has been wonderful until today, and we have all been happier for it. The "bigs" have been out on the tramp {which Sean and my dad set back up after we brought Chase home}, playing in the sandbox, and going down the slides all week in the backyard. My weeds are growing like wildfire, and I just hope I can motivate myself to plant all of the seeds I bought at Macey's a few weeks ago. Chase is the sweetest little baby, and I adore him for sleeping great at night, and being very low maintenance during the day. He has the cutest little face. Brennan adores him, and calls Chase "his baby." When he wants to hold him he always reminds me that he needs to wash his hands so he doesn't get him sick with germs. Then he sits and holds him, and kisses him on the head so softly that I feel like I will burst with pride and joy. Max wants to be his mommy, and pretend cries whenever Chase cries, pointing at him so that we know Chase needs our help. I gave in and let her hold him a few days ago after washing her hands and making her promise she wouldn't touch his face. She was in heaven...and then she coughed right on his face. I'm awesome, I know:). Sean is still changing diapers for me at night, and I love him for doing it. Whenever he is home he is helping with the kids and Chase. I sure lucked out!!! He is the greatest dad and husband.

        I am going to attempt making dinner for the first time tonight since having Chase. Pizza/soda night. If the kids are still cranky we will be bagging it and going to Little Cesar's. Pray for me!

Hope the lotion works out!
So glad Bear loves his Binky Buddy!
Tell the croissants you're coming in T-minus ____ months!
And keep on the hunt for better ways to get your chocolate cravings...maybe bananas are not the right thing to mix with it?

Tell me all about Smith's school. I want to know everything about the first day. What he did, how it went, what he wore, how you did with him being gone, etc. Exciting times!

Love you,


becca said...


Sue said...

You know I always love reading these letters.


Amy said...

I always feel like I am eavesdropping when I read these. But there is so much information in them. It is like a gimps into the real life, and not just the blog worthy moments. I love that.
I hope the blahs are fine now and that Max is feeling better so she can hold Chase more often.