"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, May 3, 2013

sleeping beauty {with a bite}

{max at about 4 weeks old}
{max at 6 weeks old}
tonight i laid in max's toddler bed as her eyes drifted off to dreamland.
brennan was higher than a kite in the bed next to us.
i kept rolling over to give him a snap here and a "look" there.
finally i threatened to take away his blanket.
that worked for about 2 seconds.
i sang all of my favorite songs as i held her hand and watched her eyelids get heavier and heavier.
i usually lay with brennan,
but tonight he told me to leave halfway through baby beluga.
that's when i know he wants to be naughty and not go to sleep.
with the freedom to bounce his legs around and sit up fifty times in his bed.
even though i only ever move 2 feet away and over into max's bed,
he feels like he has that much more freedom to not go to sleep.
earlier today he asked me why i still had boobs, while i was on the phone with sandie.
and i was all, "b/c girls have boobs."
and then {pointing to my boobs} he was all, "but they don't have milk anymore."
and i was like, "girls still have boobs even without milk."
and he goes, "oh....boys don't have boobs. 
except for wrestlers. those guys have boobs."
we had a good laugh over that one.
oh the mind of how a 5 year old works out the world.

so i laid there staring at the most beautiful angel which is max tonight,
with stars glowing green and purple across the ceiling and walls of brennan and max's room,
and there beside me was this creature,
with the most perfect nose, 
and the most gorgeous long eyelashes 
that i have ever seen in my entire life.
i remember thinking that from the first day she was placed into my arms.
and i couldn't help but picture her as a brand new baby,
laying there in her toddler bed tonight.
i ran my index finger down the slope of her nose,
over and over and over again.
i kissed the side of her head,
right beside her closed eyes,
about a million times.
and i tried to pretend that she was only 3 weeks old again.
i put my fingers into her little 3 year old hand,
and she took a few short studdered breaths.
the kind you take when you are just barely drifting off into dreamland.
and then she let out one big long peaceful sigh and rolled onto her side,
and we were all of a sudden laying there face to face.
and she was fast asleep.
so close that our noses were almost touching.
i could smell her perfect little miss max state,
and i decided that tonight,
i would lay with her a little bit longer.
wishing that i could scoop her up and onto my shoulder,
b/c the last time i blinked she was laying just like that,
only she was a newborn again
laying on my pillow, 
cuddled up to my face.
swaddled in her little pink blanket.
and we were snoozing away the last few early hours of the morning together.
she still takes my breath away.
and right then and there i prayed that she would always feel this loved for her entire life.
and then i got up to kiss brennan,
and run my fingers through his super awesome thick brown hair.
i love the calm that comes with night.
{max bit brennan today. 
for the second day in a row. 
except today was different...poor chap.
maybe NOW he will learn to listen to her when she wants him to back off.
b/c i'm sure this was a bite he will never forget...LOL.
it's unmentionable.
we'll leave it at that.
yesterday there was an incident with needle nosed pliers that she initiated.
let's just say she was Abraham and brennan was Issac.
is it normal for siblings to strip the flesh off of each other on a DAILY basis?


Camillia said...

I was rocking Georgia in the glider in her room the other night and teared up because I can already see my baby slipping away and becoming a little girl. Thankfully, she's not there yet and I get a little more time to enjoy the baby but it just feels like it flying by. I gave her the "you'll always be my baby" talk.

They just grow up too fast, don't they?

becca said...

I really miss those days mine is 13 and time is flying in 5yrs he'll be 18 and ready to start life on his own "sob"

Sue said...

Sometimes, when I look at my grown-up children, I can STILL see the little babies they were.


Amy said...

I have been having moments like that with Faye frequently. They are so precious and tender, those moments. The kids, too. The biting and pliers made me laugh. So glad my kids aren't the only ones!