letters to Beth {arizona easter 2k14}

{how'd your family easter pic turn out? my boys were super happy about ours.}

{we love to look at this picture and laugh. chase's face and brennan looking down. bahahahaha!}

...

dear beth,

last week we hopped in the car and drove to arizona for spring break.

how many countries would you drive through if you left germany and drove 12 hours straight?

i think you've told me you can be anywhere in europe in 3 hours or something amazing like that.

well, let me tell you,

i always forget what a beautiful drive it is to go through southern utah and northern arizona.

we went right around the grand canyon, and the red rock against the blue sky is just always so breathtaking.

sean and i vowed to take our children to the grand canyon one of these times.

how is it that when you live so close to amazing things it can take YEARS to go see them?

while we were in arizona i learned:

fake grass is the cool cool thing to do to your yard and there are lots of different ways to do it.

also you pay by square foot, but it pays for itself because you don't have to water it:)

having a pool is the most important thing.

people "trick out" their pools with slides, grottoes, fences, splash pads, water fountains, etc.

and they are the most amazing looking pools you have ever seen in your life.

mature palm trees either cost $5,000 or $15,000.

everyone has different amounts they say they cost.

also they take a long time to grow and you have to train them.

and the short fat ones attract scorpions.

but they are the cutest looking.

some neighborhoods have scorpions.

some don't.

my sister in law told me hers didn't, which i was VERY relieved for.

and even though i believed her,

sometimes i still felt scared to put my hands between the couch cushions 

and walk in the backyard without shoes on.

true story.

i'm such a wuss and also i watched too much oprah as a young child.

but trust me, once you've heard your niece tell you about the time she got stung by a scorpion,

it's enough to make a person decide right then and there to never want to meet one.

splash pads and parks are extra fancy with some of the coolest toys you've ever seen.

we are talking zip lines, some with seats, some with just ropes.

scooter and bike roads around the parks.

like people have weddings at the parks because they are so awesome.

we are talking outdoor adventures to the max.

when it's cloudy in april there it's like the most perfect temperature you have ever felt.

and then when the sun comes out it spikes up to 100* and you're feet are scorching on the pavement and all your brain is telling you over and over again is "water, water, water, water."

there are mormons everywhere, but still tons of diversity.

it's like the perfect mix. i loved it!

the gilbert temple looks so perfect and beautiful that it looks fake in pictures.

i swear to you.

amazing.

i went on a ride along with my brother in law in his patrol car.

we took someone to jail,

chased down flier passer-outer people,

where i learned the difference between soliciting and advertising.

there's a difference.

who knew?

also, i got a tour of the mean streets of gilbert.

2 hours of crime fighters USA.

it was so much fun.

brennan loved to see the lights and sirens,

chase HATED the sirens.

he's never been a fan of loud noises though.

sean got in the back of the patrol car.

did you know there's no cushions back there?

just hard plastic with long looking seat belts.

also, once you're in, you can't get out.

sean locked himself in on accident.

then natalie teased him about all of the germs and disgusting things that go on back there.

we burned his clothes after.

ok, not really, but you get the idea.

police officers are so awesome.

everyone should do a ride along once in their life.

also, police officers always have the best stories to tell.

for example, another police officer in natalie's ward told a story over the pulpit on easter sunday at church and the entire congregation was crying because it was so touching.

see, police officers are amazing.

and they are always someone's brother, son, husband, father.

how was your easter?

we corralled all of the cousins in one wing of natalie's house and made them wait with their eyes closed while we took pictures of them, 

{note: chase eating reese's pb cup egg at about 7:09am--so proud.} 

then let them loose while they opened all of their loot,

ate reese's peanut butter cups and cinnamon rolls for breakfast,

and then we made it to 8am church 5 minutes early in puffy dresses, ties, hats, and suit coats.

{chase was too busy playing cars for taking pictures. i love this picture so much because of it.}

...

whoever heard of 8am church anyway?

arizona people have.

chase cried the entire morning,

all through church,

and i ended up watching pbs kids on my phone in the hall outside of the primary room,

which made him really happy.

even though max called me mean mommy in the middle of sacrament,

brennan yelled in my face with a bright red angry color,

and chased whined the entire time,

i'm still happy to report that i love this life with littles.

there's no better saturday night live skit you can play in your head during all of the chaos than what i just described to you.

i must admit,

i was NOT laughing when i was threatening brennan with losing all of his easter toys and basket if he didn't "sit down RIGHT now and be reverant!"

after which point he did that red faced yelling thing at me,

and then proceeded to crawl under the pew and kick it.

not my finest hour, i must say.

this picture of chase sums up what church did to us that day.

now, when i took this picture i WAS actually laughing because i couldn't help it when i was describing the entire thing back to sean while we were waiting for everyone to walk out from church.

and that's when i realized that i could have done a better job in sacrament meeting on easter sunday.

ya win some, ya lose some.

...

{brennan's cactus picture complete with flowers}

{sean locking himself in the back of the police car--note the big rifle.}

 {brennan's dream job. he's still talking about when he got to do this.}

...

after easter dinner made by natalie's gourmet cook neighbor across the street,

we went on an easter egg hunt where chase started off with the baby stroller as his basket.

in the most perfect weather imaginable.

oh what fun it is to grow up with your cousins!

{the men explaining the rules--they were the official egg hiders and executers--

and also that chase was going to get a 1 minute lead on everyone else.}

{the moment chase realized what an easter egg hunt was all about. he made out like a bandit with 11 eggs. the most out of everyone. blame the 1 minute lead if you must.}

{afterwards they all played at the park and the slide did this to max's hair. 

or the static electricity. whichever. i thought this was the coolest thing.}

and then we drove home.

 {the end.}

in packs of 12.

today i'd like to talk about bikes and boys.

and what i'd like to say about bikes and boys is only two words long:

SNEAKER HOLES.

we're gonna be going through sneakers like wildfire over here.

that's what i'm thinking.

'cause that only took him about a month to burn through those.

walmart has a $10 special?

in packs of 12.

boys:)

worth every penny.

plus, the rose bushes will just put holes in the screens by the end of summer anyway.

because if we fixed our window screens and put them back up,

she wouldn't be able to do this.

and i love that she does this.

plus, the rose bushes will just put holes in the screens by the end of summer anyway.

a day in the life of "brennan's mom"

my daily flower from cade swensen.

brennan's best friend from down the street.

once a day, every day.

and then all of a sudden i had an entire pack of boys placing flowers at my feet.

telling me which ones are their favorites and why.

and all about their flower explorations that only cops and robbers can go on.

and naming the ones they knew.

like the tulips they insisted were roses and daffodils and dandelions.

and one that they said smelled like toilet bowl water,

but really i thought it smelled quite nice.

a great day in the life of "brennan's mom."

cash is king!

tonight when the thing at the gas station asked for my form of payment, 

i all of a sudden realized that when i was 16 i didn't have a credit card,

and what in the heck did i use to pay for gas back then anyway???

and then as i swiped my card,

entered in my coupon code,

and selected the cheapest gas option i could,

it hit me.

CASH!!!

i used cash!

and then as i stood there freezing my buns off
because i'm past the point of remembering coats to go places at this point in the year,

i sat there trying to figure out if i could actually remember paying with cash for gas.

i can remember standing in line inside Cheaper gas 

or whatever that convenience store was called on kelly and main back then.

and i can remember i didn't have a cell phone to look at while i was waiting in line
so i was probably looking at the video safety cam over the register
seeing if my hair was sticking up
or if toilet paper was sticking to my shoe,
or if i could see my underwear lines through my jeans or something like that.

and i can remember that gas was only 99 cents.

but i can't  for the life of me remember handing cash to the cashier.

even though that was absolutely the way i must have paid.
and did you have to pay before??
or was it after?
and how did they not have a gas theft problem if it was after,
but how do you KNOW exactly how much gas you want to buy until you've actually pumped it?
do you really have to go back inside to get your change if you've over paid or pay more if you've underpaid.
maybe that's why the lines were always so long.
or maybe it was just the cheap gas.

i don't remember it one bit.
excepts for the bits i do.

go figure.

at least we know he's not a serial killer {a thank you note}

Dear Mrs. Ames,

Thank you for giving us 

the mellow group of girls, 

and the quietest boy in the entire Kindergarten.

It made for the best 

Kindergarten zoo field trip 

I've ever been on!

Wait...

Anyway, now I know 

FOR SURE you really do love me.

Because I saw some of the other groups.

God Bless you:)

Love,

Brennan's Mom

P.S.

Also, Brennan was in tears in the snake house.

Like he couldn't even speak because he was stifling a cry that gasped for air, and then burst into an I can't breathe 

because I'm so scared 

and I'm holding my breath so i don't cry kind of cry,

with huge tears rolling out of his big brown eyes.

And I was all whispering in his ears,
"Did you poop in your pants???"
I was panicked because you know,

NO extra underwear-O folks and we're on a field trip at the zoo.

Phew, he shook he his no.

What on earth could it be though???

that's what i was thinking.

and then it hit me.

the upside down turtle.

because the dad in other group was all,

"should one of us flip it back over?"

and i was like,

"i don't think we should touch it."

and he was all,

"they can die if they're on their backs too long."

and i was like,

"really?! wow, i hope someone gets a zoo helper. 

ready to go brennan?"

and the man goes on,

"yeah, they suffocate on their backs because their big shell makes their lungs collapse!!!"

and i'm sitting there giving him the "wow that's interesting" face that i do when people tell me factual stuff.

but mostly i was just trying to bribe the 4yr old and 2yr out of the stinky snake house with fruit snacks and pirate booty and cars for their 16th birthdays--anything to get them away before someone had to start CPR on the upside down turtle.

and that's when brennan started crying.

but he wasn't even that close to us so that's why i thought he pooped his pants because why else would a child burst into tears in the middle of the snake house anyway?!

but you know he didn't poop his pants,

he was just worried about that little upside down turtle dying.

"SUFFOCATING!!!"

and so that's when i said,

"yeah, why don't YOU flip him over, that was a great idea!"

because he was also talking about how his dad raised giant tortoises, and how he was trained in 

flipping them over and stuff like that.

and then i was like,

"don't forget to wash your hands."

after it was clear that the turtle was now safe and sound on the right side of his belly again.

and then brennan told me about how the two turtles were fighting and the one turtle flipped the other turtle over, and that's how it went down.

and on the way out i let the zoo helper know 

we already had it covered.

go us.

so happy that brennan is NO animal killer or torturer.

and that he did not poop his pants.

chase on other hand was completely fascinated,

denying me as his mother on the way out because i dared to pull him away from the front row show of it all.

and then we had to wait on the other side of lawn while the entire group took a picture with the giant metal elephant 

because brennan is still petrified of that darn thing.

going on 5 and 1/2 years folks.

5 and 1/2 years.

click here to remember.

note: field trips are so much easier when you're not the teacher that has to ride the bus with 120 kindergartners:)

THE END.

love, emily

whichever;)

the tail though

what does the fox say?

brennan the artist:)

the tail is my favorite part.

from the glow of the hall light behind us.

tonight chase ran into the corner of the wall by the big kid's room.

one minute he was headed for the doorway squealing in pure joy,

and the next minute brennan was jumping out of the dark

roaring like the t-rex in jurrassic park,

and our little carrot top flinched himself RIGHT into the side of the wall.

like SMACK he bounced off of that wall, and then he was down on the ground wailing in agony.

i scooped him up, and he buried his instantly bruised goose egged face into my hair.

and i could smell my hairspray from his breath breathing into my hair so hard,

and i wondered if when my kids were older if that's one of the things they would remember about me.

my Aussie brand hairspray smell.

from the aerosol can.

one thing's for sure.

i know they will remember how i hummed them the stay awake song.

but never sang it.

because i never learned the lyrics.

sometimes they hum along with me.

always by age 2, sometimes a note or two around age 1.

every time i love to look at the shadow on the yellow curtains,

from the glow of the hall light behind us.

little baby legs draped off on each side of me,

like some kind of pinch that this amazing dream we're living in might actually be real.

and so sometimes i hum it about 100 times to make it go on until their almost fast asleep.

{would you look at those chubby fingers though! SWOON:)}

...

"Stay awake, don't rest your head

Don't lie down upon your bed

While the moon drifts in the skies

Stay awake, don't close your eyes.

Though the world is fast asleep

Though your pillow's soft and deep

You're not sleepy as you seem

Stay awake, don't nod and dream

Stay awake, don't nod and dream."

3 feet

i give you,

the 3 foot tall tongue flipper.

there's just something special about this kid.

i could squish that baby chest chub every day of the week and twice on sunday.

or a million.

whichever.