"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Monday, December 7, 2009

sharing with compliance

this is what was going on behind me. i was feeling so awesome.
best mom ever.
brennan and wilder were playing so great with the dino's.
no one was hitting.
everyone was sharing with compliance.
and then they learned how to open the tv armoire.
and they found the cars dvd.
and now i'm just the same mom today as i was yesterday.
the one that gives in and let's them watch a show b/c darn it, it's 16* outside, and a movie just sounds good.
today's fears:
1. my house will be messy after baby #2. it's not the mess i'm actually worried about. i can do messy. it's the worry that i will be so tired that it will bother me then, when it wouldn't bother me now.
2. that my toddler, who has recently become extremely destructive when he's bored, will tear my house apart. i think this is more of a control issue than anything else. i will be nursing a baby, unable to move, and my toddler will be getting into "mommy's drawers" in the kitchen, and i won't be able to do a dang thing about.
3. that i will be nursing a baby in the morning, just wanting to sleep, but my toddler will be demanding my attention right at that moment. how do i feed both babies?
4. that i will want to go somewhere, but that by the time we are all fed, dressed, and put together it will be time to feed someone again.
5. that nursing might be just as hard the second time around.
6. that i will want to put the baby back inside of me after a week and go back to just the 1.
7. that i will become a hermit.
8. that brennan will hurt the new baby.
9. that i will neglect someone. brennan, new baby, sean, me, friend. you name it, someone's getting left out at some point.
10. that all of the things i swear i will never do when i have 2 kids, i will end up doing.
11. that brennan will be completely bored out of his mind, and i will have no energy to do anything about it.
12. that everything is going to change. (i realize this is inevitable.)
13. that i have to get on the scale today at the doctor, and that it bothers me, when it never did when i was pregnant with brennan.
ok, i feel better now that that's all out:-)
the scout master has requested "more videos" on the blog.
i give you,
the egg game.
30 second peek of what we did for over half an hour.


Emmy said...

Well at least he didn't cry, then you might have felt bad :) That video was awesome!

And well.. what can I say, it is going to be a lot harder with two, but you will also be amazed at how much you are able to multi-task and do with two. You can nurse a baby while chasing a toddler, you can get up and put on a show or anything to distract toddler while nursing baby. And yes, it will take you ten times as long to get everyone ready to go anywhere, but you will still and it will be worth it...most of the time ;)

Amy said...

Its funny how fears often become realities and when they do they are no longer fears. Does that make sense? I am still learning the ropes but although it is hard, it isnt as bad as you would think. I think the fact you are so concerned about not neglecting Brennan means you wont. Brennan will be adorable with her, and you will still go on dates, and the house will get messy, but it will be okay. stop worrying and enjoy it all :)

The Wilson Family said...

Ok so...all i have to say is you ARE MY HERO girl! holy cow! I love you and miss you and think we would be the best of friends if we could live close to each other and have our crazy big boys play together. the worries that you posted i worry everyday. and i'm not pregnant...yet :) i loved hearing your laugh on the video of the egg game. jj does this too!