"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

letters to Emily {purple heart mom, allergies, & single girl}

Dear Emily,
Being a mother is worth a purple heart sometimes.
Days like going to a man store, focusing on doing something nice for the man you love, having your focused stream line attention on that one exciting detail for fathers day, and having that focus fall on the care of three wild things can be frustrating.
Having your handicapped child screaming with tears (which is rare) at a family's house in Germany, while your infant is screaming at the top of his lungs, then nursing your baby on the side you have mastitis on, then taking off all of Smith's clothes and jumping with him on the trampoline and giving him a bath, both things equally worth a purple heart. You my dear, are a purple heart mom, and I look up to you for even thinking of taking three children to the store, the mere thought of that just makes me love you more because I would probably be in my pajamas all day long on a rainy day like that and just let my house go and watch movies with my kids all day long, and probably posting that I did something really interesting that day just to make people think that I am an over-achiever, and I am NOT an over-achiever thank you very much. I know I just went off...sorry.
So A LOT has happened since I last wrote you.
We for sure found out Bear's real allergies from a blood test.
nuts
wheat
soy
dairy
eggs.
I am not going to lie. I am having fun cooking around this stuff. I have come up with some delicious recipes, everything from pina colada Popsicles to tomato curry with lemon shrimp. And there is always popcorn! I do CRAVE chocolate, and I dare you to find any chocolate that doesn't have soy lecithin it. Go ahead. Because you wont find it. And if it just says Lecithin then it is still soy. Crazy the things you learn when you have allergies in your home.
Smith had his first day of school, which was awesome. And he continues to go to that school. They truly love him. I am So grateful for there time and talents that go into his physical, mental, and creative therapy.
Bryce got into a bike accident the week after he went to Ireland for a conference.
He broke his skull in two different places and had to have surgery to extract the blood from the brain. Pretty serious and scary. But he is great and still recovering. He can't lift anything more that 5 pounds. Which means my arms are getting a good work out and I am looking like She-ra these days.
We are moving to the center of the city in a few weeks and we are so excited. We are house sitting for one of Bryce's professors while she goes to teach in Japan for 7 months. We live in the forest, about 20 minutes from the city, so it will be nice for Bryce to walk home for lunch instead of having to stay on campus forever.
Let me just say how tight me and Heavenly Father have become during this time. We are like buddies. I love that man. He is always there and his presence is soooooo strong. I know people make fun of the poem, footprints. But he does carry me during the hardest times. I feel it. He carries me pretty much everyday because I have so much to carry (literally).
I left to get some groceries in the city, it is a 20 minute bus ride.
Kidless.
It was great.
Bryce had them both at home and I journeyed to the glorious world of milk and butter. I pretended, as I got on the bus, that I was a single girl just going out without a purpose, maybe to write in my journal on the old bridge, or buy some bread and cheese and eat it on a bench in the park. Because normally the role I play as I enter the bus is the woman with a double stroller and a crying baby, with a big boy usually spitting on his hand pretty loud (gotta love Smitty), while I am pulling out my bag of tricks to calm Bear down and wiping Smith's cute little mouth off.
But this time I could breath, look at the scenery, people watch.
Relax.
I sat across from a woman with a baby.
A crying baby.
She had her bag of tricks. Nothing was working. The bottle, nope. The binki, nope. The toy, nope. Bouncing, nope. Singing, nope. Talking softly, nope. Shushing, nope. Her eyes rolled. She sighed. She looked helpless.
I had so much empathy for this woman. I knew exactly what she was going through. I had to help, but how? So I decided to pray for her. I said a prayer to help her baby calm down. The moment I said the words to Heavenly Father, it happened. The baby stopped crying. The mom sighed relief. The whole rest of the way the baby was happy. I smiled and thanked Heavenly Father. He is so cool.
Your emails to me make me laugh and bring joy to my heart. All these young mother days equal up to joy. They may be crazy at times but really it is great. I hope you have a fantastic Father day. What are you cooking for fathers day? I need some ideas I think. I miss you and your wild things!
Love
Beth

4 comments:

Sue said...

That is scary about Beth's husband. I'm glad he's okay!

=)

Kindra said...

Dear Beth, how can you say that you are not an over achiever. In this letter alone you have a sweet boy with special needs, a baby with allergies, a husband who had to have blood removed from his brain and who is in grad school, you live in a foreign country, you actually find time to cook dinner and have fun with it AND instead of sleeping on the bus from pure exhaustion you have sympathy for another and pray for her. That my dear, is a lot to achieve and you do it so well with a smile on your face thanking Heavenly Father all the way. If that isn't achieving I don't know what is.
I love the letters you two, you both amaze me and are great examples of wonderful mothers!

Katie said...

I was so touched by your prayer for that lady. With everything you are going through, you think of her. You are so right about our Heavenly Father.

Amy said...

Purple heart mother indeed! What strength you have! I honestly don't know if I could do what you do. Living in a foreign country on top of everything else astounds me. Wow. What a wonderful thing it is that you have had such a growth in testimony. Such growth, I am sure, to all aspects of your life. And the assurance that Heavenly Father is always with you. That, I think is one of the most valuable things we can learn here on earth. Beth, both you and Emily are amazing women!