"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

earthquake and fire drills

i've been thinking about these kids all weekend.
my very first 3rd grade class that i taught out of college.
they were my entire life.
i remember all of their names,
and all of their faces.
how i read books to them when they came in from recess 
and worked on their free time packets with the lights off.
passed out graham crackers as snacks.
classroom parties with homemade goodies,
and charlie brown movies.
a drawer full of confiscated items
{pokemon cards, littlest pet shop creatures, digital animals on a keychain, box cars, and bouncy balls}
the pledge of allegiance,
and singing the first verse of the national anthem before the morning announcements.
AR reading tests...and treats.
our classroom beta fish named chuck norris,
sticky notes,
earning marbles for movie parties,
practicing for the christmas program in the freezing cold lunch room.
field trips.
OH field trips!!!:):):)
{glove factory, electric plant, byu-idaho campus, parks}
dressing up as fairies with the teachers in my hall {even the men}.
halloween box contests,
parties for the good worker's club and the 100% clubs 
in my room on fridays with my students.
i still love those kids!
and think about them often.
i have the best of memories from that year.
i just can't shake the thought that we didn't have any closets in our classroom.
and how i just want the world to go back to a place where facebook was 
only a place where you completed the sentence "Emily Gibson is _____________."
where cell phones only had room for numbers on a keypad.
and we only did drills for earthquakes and fires at 9:30 in the morning on the first thursday of the month.
but especially, i want to go back to when practicing for the lock down code red drills 
seemed like something that would never happen in an elementary school. 
with the building doors unlocked and propped open for the breeze to come down through the halls.
gone are the days.
and that is what i've been thinking about.
except now i'm thinking about it as a mother.
with children of my own that are about to start elementary school.
and it has my heart all up in knots.
b/c again the world has changed.
i've changed.
but i will not let my fears keep me from living.
i will not lack the courage to live.
and i will always remember.


becca said...

it's terrifying knowing you send your child to school with the false sense they are safe then you hear about horrible acts of violence like Newton and realize they aren't. But truth is in our world today no one is truly safe and that's what is scary but you can't just stop living due to fear you just have to hope all will be okay at the end of the day.

Sue said...

Such a tragic situation that I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I even posted about it today to see if that would be cathartic. It was, a bit.

But oh, it hurts to think about...


Amy said...

There are a few things that keep going through my mind thinking about that tragedy. The fact that they were all under the age of 8 (the children), the scripture about anyone who dies even thinking of evil in regards to little children, and how easy it is to gain access to schools. It breaks my heart!
On a happier note, when you stopped teaching, the world lost a wonderful teacher. I would love for my kids to have teachers like you!