with shampoo all in your face

That moment when you're in the shower 

with shampoo all in your face 

and eyes and hair 

and you hear chase coming into the bathroom 

barfing liquid spray everywhere 

and there's absolutely nothing you can do 

but try to get the shampoo out of your hair 

as fast as possible yelling "toilet chase! Toilet!!!" 

in other news, I FINALLY get to have the carpets cleaned!!!!🏻#beenwaitingonthisfortooLong#alittlebitexcitedforthecarpets#sadforchase

the story of how i DID NOT MEAN to can 38 quarts of peaches

this is the story 

of the 38 quarts of peaches 

i didn't mean to can.

here it goes...

our peaches ripened on our tree.

all 5 of them.

{thank you frost.}

sean said brigham city peaches and peach stand.

and i said two boxes, 

unless you can help me with an extra box for the peach raspberry jam?

this is what i said to him when he called from the peach stand.

and he was all "yeah! of course!"

{famous last words}

we like to can together you see.

so he bought three cups of raspberries too.

i was SO excited.

long story short,

sean went to take a nap to get rid of his headache,

{usually this requires ibu profien, a coke, and an hour snooze}

so i said i'd get started doing all of the prep work while he took care of his headache.

next thing i knew,

sean was barfing,

having hot and cold flashes,

body aches,

and i had three boxes of peaches we actually PAID for 

that had already been skinned, pitted, and halved.

and 4 kids at home on a sunday.

with a breastfeeding newborn.

it was either can them by myself or throw them all away.

i just wanted to cry,

but instead i put my shoulder to the wheel,

and let my kids watch movies for the rest of the day.

it wasn't pretty.

and at one point when dean didn't want to go to bed for the night i considered waking my neighbor andrea up in the middle of the night to help.

i did not, and dean finally fell asleep in the swing.

around midnight sean woke up for a gatorade and some nyquil,

and maybe i made him a piece of toast???

i can't remember...

38 quarts later at 1:30am i never wanted to see another peach in my whole entire life.

i'm sure glad i have them now,

all happily stacked downstairs in the cold storage by the water heater,

but i don't EVER want them to happen like that EVER again.

ahhhh!!!!

...

i give you,

my peach recipe,

courtesy of my neighbor julie who taught me how;)

the pictures make me laugh! 

notes: i don't make the syrup. i boil a pot of water and put 1/8c sugar {bc i don't really see why it needs any sugar really, but julie said to so i did} 

with 1/2tbls fruit fresh in each quart {so they don't turn brown in the bottles over the winter}, 

stack it with the peaches, and THEN ladle in boiling water to the half inch head space line.

no mess. you're welcome. also, process an extra 10 minutes for utah altitude.

canning "how to" here 

if you want to learn the ins and outs.

there's only one rule to canning.

the the is: FOLLOW THE RULES. 

TO THE T.

that's the only rule;)

the end.

the worst place to puke is in a 5 point harness. in traffic. in a snowstorm.

do you want to know where the worst place to puke is?
in a 5 point harness.
in traffic.
in a snow storm.
because there's nowhere for the puke to go.
and your body can't even wretch forward to help everything out.
you're just forced to barf back into your mouth.
or on your cheek if you're lucky.
which probably feels awesome.
probably about as awesome as not being to lurch forward when you're puking.
which then slops down onto your shoulder.
or onto your sister,
who's trying to wipe your puke off of your cheek and mouth {while gagging},
with the napkins her mom is throwing at her from the front seat in traffic in a snowstorm.
because it was a PARKING LOT on the freeway,
like AIN'T NOBODY GOING NOWHERE kind of traffic in a white out snowstorm.
and there was no possible way to pull off onto the side of the road without sure sudden death.
see snowstorm reference above.
and THEN 25 minutes later.
while you're still sitting in traffic in a snowstorm,
just when you think the puking is done,
the 2 yr old in the 5 point harness pukes again minutes before you're to your house.
and you still can't get to him.
and tell him it's gonna be alright.
instead, you just have to cover your face in agony,
and encourage the kids in sitting next to him to pat his little head,
and wipe his barfy cheek,
wishing you could let them know that you're doing everything you can to get off the white out roads to love him, hug him, and bathe him the very first minute you can.
and also to clean the puke off of his shoulder, and cheek, and sister's arm.
favorite max quotes from this awful drive home from a day of sledding in lehi with cousins:
"chase i just can't look at you or i'm gonna be sick." -max
"ahhhhhhhhhh, it PELLS {smells} like barf EF-REE-WHERE {everywhere} in here!!! i can't take it anymore!!!" -max {cue max bursting into tears}
brennan then reaches out to hold chase's hand across the middle seat where max is sitting b/c it was brennan's turn to sit in the window seat on the way home because the back bench was down from moving basement stuff in the van, so max was in the middle {all three in the middle bench},
and then max was all,
"i wish BENNAN {brennan} had the window on the way down {sob sob sob--i really did feel so badly for her cause NOBODY wants puke on their arm, not even their OWN puke, let alone someone else's puke}, so i didn't have to sit next to chase puking!" {through stifling sobs and gagging--it was very tender, i swear.}
and that my friends,
is the worst place to puke.
in a 5 point harness,
in the car,
in traffic,
in a snowstorm.
the end.

with a sopping wet half head of hair from his ear draining fluid.

{he has my eyes. he's my best cuddler.}

...

we've got sick people over here.

lots of them.

colds.

coughs.

sore throats.

runny noses.

stuffed up noses.

going on a week.

or more.

or something crazy long like that.

'cause it's may.

and it just doesn't seem right to be sick at the end of may.

it's like when you hit may you're all, 

"we've made it! healthy 'til november! december if we're lucky!"

and the germs are all,
"woooooah there, not so fast emily. i've got a few tricks left in my bag.

like that one where i made brennan puke and other stuff last thursday in the middle of this added bonus of a cold i've thrown at all of you."

so last night every gibson kid had their turn at getting up in the night.

max

then brennan

then chase waking up brennan

then brennan coming in to tell us that chase was crying

then me finding chase with a sopping wet half head of hair from his ear draining fluid.

"ear owie"

that's what he said when i walked into his room.

his whole body shaking it was hurting so badly.

oh how happy i was to have ear drops in the bathroom medicine cabinet.

praise the lord.

so we layed together on the spare bed in chase's room 

{the one with fairies, flowers, dragonflies,cowboys, and horsies on the walls},

brennan crawled into my spot with sean,

and max by the grace of god stayed asleep in her very own bed.

and it was finally quiet for the first time all night.

so i sang to him with my cracking sore throat,

stroked his hair,

and he curled right up into my chest,

and burried his head into my neck,

and we just layed there breathing together.

it was pretty great. 

but i'd still love it if we could all just not be sick anymore:)

you might think the baby wipes did a good job at 4am.

we've got flu over here folks.

flu.

and it's not pretty.

also, FYI, if you're cleaning puke out of your carpets at 4am,

you might think the baby wipes did a really good job,

but then at 2pm the next day, the sun will come in your bedroom window,

and you will be like,

"whaaaaaaaat IS that orange stuff on my carpeeeeeeeeet?????"

and then you'll be like,

"ohhhhhhh, puke."

and then you'll wash your sheets and clean your toilets, and stuff like that,

and forget about cleaning your carpets.

fat thursday {mardi gras}

how long 

does mardigras go anyway?

did i even spell it right?

max "decorated" ariel yesterday, and it made me laugh really hard.

because it just seemed so "fitting."

especially since my brother included me on the group text to charles in charge, 

i mean charles and friends dressed up in their beads and tutus for fat tuesday.

with someone filling up a cup of something on someone's back.

or was it their bum?

everyone was fully clothed,
and by that i mean totally mardi gras'd out.
it was awesome.

it's times like these where i just love technology.

other times when my internet doesn't work,

and the wifi is down,

and max is sick as a dog, 

and only wants to watch a movie on my phone and can't,

because you know, the internet and wifi are not working.

those are the times i don't love technology at all.

is it a week?

or just tuesday?

mardigras.

i don't get out much.

and i live in utah.

i didn't spell it right.

it's two words.

thank you google.

say it with me:

mardi gras.

this is what mardis gras looks like at our house:

we're on day 5 of this over here.

fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose,

and now a hurting right ear.

say it with me:

mardi gras

or ear infection.

whichever:)

poor thing.

OCEANS.

did i tell you about the time last week when all of my kids were puking?

and there was so much puke that i described it to people as oceans of puke?

things we learned 

during "oceans of puke":

1. max has great luck with tiled floor. thank you max.

2. brennan pukes like a walking zombie that's puking. he means well. it just turns out bad{ly}.

3. puking babies are by far worse than any other form of puking human. 

b/c they're quiet people, except when they're not. 

and you don't know they're puking 

b/c you're holding the garbage can lid open for your 5 yr old who's currently puking,

so he can puke into the garbage can 

b/c the puke bowls are all being washed in the dishwasher 

and really, it just seems efficient for him to puke into the garbage can at this point in the process,

and then right at that minute the baby comes around the corner puking,

and you're thinking

"baby puking! baby puking! get him onto the floor!"

you know, b/c there's carpet everywhere.

a house of carpet.

almost.

and so you're holding the garbage open with one foot and reaching out for the baby with an arm,

and you feel like you've got things under control,

and your husband is coming through with his one man hazmat crew,

and then you go around the corner and you see it.

oceans of puke.

from the baby that was walking around looking for you.

puking everywhere he walked while he was looking for you.

oceans of puke guys.

OCEANS.

and so you get on the horn right away and schedule the carpet cleaner to come the next morning.

and they are there bright and early,

b/c they are awesome like that.

and they remember the time they came for the purple berry smoothie that max spilled all over the carpet in your bedroom when chase was 3 weeks old.

like i said, they're awesome like that.

and then they clean your recliner chair,

and tell you it was worse than last time,

but not the worst they've seen,

and you take that as a compliment.

and then he cleans the sap off of the love seat for free.

because you know,

the guys at action extraction are awesome like that.

OCEANS.

OCEANS.

cotton headed ninny muggin

cotton headed ninny muggins.

i just couldn't help but call him that tonight.

you know, with cotton balls coming out of his ears.

but not in a mean way,

in a nice way.

like a fond endearing term kind of way.

plus, it really made me excited to watch elf,

and also he's a baby, 

so they don't know that you're calling them something mean,

as long as you say it with a smile and tickle them,

it comes off as nice.

scout's honor.

poor chap had blood coming out of both of his ears this morning.

last night it was clear and i was all,

"it's fiiiiiiine, clear is good, i'm sure he just licked his fingers and shoved them in his ears."

but then this morning i was like,

"WOOOOOAAAHHHH!!! there's blood coming out of his ears! not good!!!"

thank you tubes.

thank you antibiotic/steroid drops.

4 times in each ear, 2 times a day, for 10 days.

just like the good ol' days,

except with sleep.

it's like coming home for the holidays.

sort of.

why oh why do i pack my christmas dvds in the christmas decorations boxes 

that are barricaded off by the halloween, and easter decorations,

which also are surrounded by all baby toys 

that have been dispersed in every area of the basement by elf 1 and elf 2??

how am i supposed to watch elf before thanksgiving when it's packed away.

this is how i force myself into waiting to do such things until after thanksgiving.

because i know i have absolutely ZERO self control in matters such as these.
and i cannot be trusted.

barricades.

it takes barricades.

so until then i'll entertain myself with cotton stuffed ears on chase.

no babies were harmed in the making of this blog post.

FYI blood coming out of tubes with ears {or is it ears with tubes?}=ear infection draining. 

no need to panic. 

get drops. give drops. 

cuddle baby. watch barney with baby. refill milk for baby. 

thank your lucky stars baby's tubes haven't fallen out yet. 

kiss baby. brush baby's hair to one side with your fingers. 

and so on and so forth.

he is such a champ.

but last night was rough rough rough.

it's the molars really.

that are causing the ears to bleed.

and other things EHEM to take their course.

also he was getting over a cold.

perfect storm for an ear infection.

he was so very sad.

my heart was aching.

i love him.

and his perfect little chubby cuddly self.
he ate tonight for the first time in 3 days.
like a starving man in the dessert.
hilarious.

{tomato soup addict. hours of entertainment. or 20 minutes. whichever.}

P.S.

i feel zero desire to cook anything the week of thanksgiving.

this happens every year.

obviously psychological excitement.

you know, not wanting to spoil my supper.

thanksgiving supper.

by eating too early.

it's not that i don't want to eat.

i just have no motivation to cook.

we didn't eat dinner last night until 8:05pm.

on a school night.

b/c i just couldn't find it in me to get up and cook.

like i should hold off on all eating up until thursday,

b/c i just can't stop thinking about turkey!

turkey sandwiches.

turkey soup.

turkey drumstick with stuffing.

and leftover mashed potatoes.

but you can't eat turkey before thanksgiving.

you just can't.

so until then,

it's pancakes,

grilled cheese,

and baked potatoes with lots of stuff on top.

tomorrow night we might actually have to resort to cold cereal.

alcohol & vinegar {swimmer's ear}

swimmer's ear is brutal.

wish i would have had my wits about me at 2:30am this morning to have figured out it was that.

instead, sean and i gave him tylonel {b/c we have been out of motrin for over a month--i'm in denial that we will need it during the summer months. we shouldn't need it during the summer months. wah!}, 

water with a straw {part of me thought he was just dehydrated with a headache}, 

and we just kept thinking 

"he's going to calm down and go back to sleep any minute. 

any minute now! wait for it...wait for it..."

the poor kid just kept crying inconsolably while we held him and tried to talk him down.

3 hours later he fell asleep for an hour and was back up screaming again. 

at 6am i watched the sun come up through our blackout curtains, and i've got to admit, 

i was wishing it was winter and dark for another two hours.

i envisioned snow falling outside, my heater just getting ready to warm us up,

{surely i was a traitor to summer at that very moment. no shame. july is just too hot once it's over.}

cold air ready to pounce on me from over my heavy down comforter...

at which point he was so exhausted from being up until 10:30pm the night before, 

and then waking up for half of the night, that he finally cried himself back to sleep holding my hand.

and then i fell back asleep to.

the last thing i remember hearing was sean's alarm buzzing him awake to get ready for work.

and right then i just felt tired like i was old.

or at least, i remember thinking, i'm sure not 25 anymore am i.

b/c sleep never felt so good.

1tbls white vinegar

1tbls rubbing alcohol

3 drops in ear, 

lay for 5 minutes, 

cotton ball in ear to sit up, 

remove when you're 5 year finally knocks it out 

{so pretty much 2 seconds after he sits up.}

good as new:) 

like i said,

wish i would have thought of this at 2:30am.

better late than never.

boy i loved cuddling with him while we slept.

#survivingcancer

{this picture made us all laugh really REALLY hard.}

...

landon's eyebrows are back.

bushy lion eyebrows.

with a hint of ginger in my opinion.

pretty awesome:)

#survivingcancer.

...

Q: when will you consider yourself a cancer survivor?

i will consider myself in remission up until 5 years from now because that's how long they'll do scans. i'll have one in 7 weeks, and if that's clear then i'll have another one is 3-6 months, and then as long as they stay clear then they will do them less often for up to 5 years.

at 5 years if you're clean, then that's when i would consider myself cancer free.

Q:in what way or ways has your life changed the most through this experience?

It really has changed everything.

It's the cliche of you're thankful for everyday, but to me it's my relationships with my friends and family that are most different. I'm more patient, less quick to get upset about something. I would say probably the greatest thing I've seen aside from my improvement with my family is my increased faith and testimony in God's plan and in the Atonement. I can't describe how it increases your faith. it's too hard to describe b/c of how your relationship with God is so individual. I've never had to rely so much on other people's faith to help me in my life. When cancer began I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. I knew I would need everyone's faith around me to help me be cured or whatever it was that God had in store for me because you can't overcome that on your own. Aside from the faith part of it, to completely allow people to help you with all kinds of different stuff was really difficult. I take pride in taking care of my family, going to work, mowing my lawn, the basic things, etc. but for the benefit of my family I had to learn to accept charitable acts from people throughout this process. I've truly seen that people were helping our family purely out of love, expecting nothing in return. It's been amazing.

Q:is your life back to the way it was before?

No. 

I'm not physically able to do things I did a year ago, 

like certain aspects of my job, exercise, running, personal life, those sorts of things.

It's not the same b/c there are still the multiple times a day where I am reminded of what I am fighting. A year ago cancer wasn't on my radar. Now it is. I don't know when or if that will ever go back to normal. There are times where being reminded that I have cancer are positive. It's not doom and gloom I might die all of the time. It's really hard going through it, but then you look back, and you think holy cow I just did that.

Q:how do you live your life differently now than you did before your diagnosis?

Slower. 

It's kind of like how i mentioned earlier--things that may have upset me before or worrying about things i did before aren't nearly as prevalent. for example, i used to get irritated a lot of times with how people drove. Like driving too slow or whatever, especially if i was trying to get somewhere. I don't do that anymore. I will get there when I get there. I'm not going to worry about it b/c that is just a self created stress that is not going to benefit me or anyone else. That is just a very small example.

Q:do you worry about your cancer coming back?

Yes, 

and I think that I probably always will. 

But just like I can't control that it happened--there's nothing that I did that caused my cancer--

I can't really control if it comes back or not. 

So I try, I'm not always successful, but I try to not let that worry me too much.

Q:what surprised you the most about your journey through fighting cancer?

I was surprised at the number of people affected by cancer in their own lives that i never knew about before. Like people in my own family that I never knew fought cancer, people at work, at church, all of them talking to me about their aunt or their sister or whatever who had breast cancer or others who were going through chemotherapy right now too. It was just all over the place. It just seems like everybody has an experience or a story about how cancer has affected their life.

i stand all amazed:)

PTSD {skull and cross bones}

i have self diagnosed PTSD from this cold and flu season.

it's making me a little punchy.

or jumpy.

whichever.

brennan lost his voice today.

and after listening to him cough/sniffle "kind of" for the last few weeks on and off, 

i decided, really, what's one more visit at this point.

so i told him he could bring his batman valentine cards with us, and that we'd get a treat after.

they ran the good ol' pulse ox that we remember OH so dearly from 4 years ago.

97=good.

phew.

but the lost voice and barky cough had them thinking croup.

just think asthma attack,

minus the asthma.

in the middle of the night.

that's my best description for you.

the throat swells up when they're coughing {usually kids outgrow it around age 6-7}.

and it's just REAL{ly} scary.

remedy: cold air, humidity, and steroids.

so being a little punchy/jumpy i decided to just go for the steroid b/c it can only help, even if it's not croup.

they crush it up, and mix it with cherry syrup.

brennan burst into tears when he tasted the it, but swallowed it nevertheless.

the doc told me it really is the most awful tasting thing on the face of the planet.

and then he said that this is the busiest their office has been in ten years.

b/c there has never been a cold and flu season year as bad as this since then.

illnesses coming out of the woodwork and overlapping on top of each other like nothing they've seen before.

we could be their poster child.

or poster family.

whichever.

just put the skull and crossbones on our front door.

all in favor of JUNE 1st tomorrow say "EYE".

EYE!!!

{i know that's not how it's spelled. do you get it?}

i need a punch card for the pediatrician.

2am-woke chase up and fed him a bottle of formula, went back to sleep

6:17am-woke chase up and nursed him, went back to sleep

8:30am-by the grace of god all children slept in, left chase cooing in his crib, got out of bed, showered, dressed kids, sean feeds kids, brush teeth, sean gives chase a blessing {brennan was mad we took the phone away for it}

10am-dropped kids off at alicia's while grandma made her way to our house fifteen min later, chase and i leave for the surgical center downtown

10:20am-Siri gets confused at the Spaghetti Bowl {concrete interchanges that intertwine like spaghetti with the most horrible signage you can imagine}, get off at the wrong exit, get back onto the freeway, miss the parking garage for the surgical center 3 times before i get it right--good thing i had the mini-van all gassed up. phew!

10:35am-walk into surgical center with chase asleep in his carseat and sign 50 waivers and confidentiality papers {can't believe he fell asleep on an empty stomach after just waking up for the morning. bless that child.}

10:45am-enter patient room, dress chase in his looney tunes surgical gown with his diaper bum hanging out of the back, so cute

11am-Pam the pre-op nurse goes over surgery info and declares chase is the cutest baby she's ever seen. i told her she probably says that to all of her patients. she assured me she does not. she said she could gush him all day long, and could she please squeeze his thighs? i of course encouraged her, and chase smiled his dimples and batted his blonde eyelashes at her. the entire surgical center was talking about the chubby red headed baby man. he was without a doubt the man of the morning. so proud:)

11:30am-anesthesiologist comes in, explains that "95% of babies wake up pissed off, but they're not in any pain, they're just confused" and then emphasizes that he will most likely be "really pissed off." i liked that anesthesiologist right then. 

11:35am-dr Dahl, the ENT greets us and invites me into the operating room to hold chase's hand while the gas man does his work. i stayed until his little baby man eyes rolled back into his head and he went off into dreamland. then i gave him a big long kiss, covered him with a warm blanket the OR nurses gave me, and when they asked me if i had a bottle for him i said, "nope, just brought my boobs" and everyone laughed. but not in a weird way, just in a this lady is funny way. but i wasn't really trying to be funny. it just came out that way, but i was glad they laughed. and then i went back to the pre-op room and texted pictures of chase in his gown to everyone in the family.

12:00pm-chase wakes up "pissed off" and cries for a little bit while they carry him into recovery.

12:03pm-i get to hold chase, rock him, nurse him, while they monitor all of his numbers.

12:15pm-chase eats two packs of applesauce, the nurses can't believe how fast and how much he eats, i'm so proud of my pork loin the 2nd.

12:30pm-Pam walks us out to our car, gives me a hug and asks to squish chase's cheeks one more time, of course i said yes, beaming parent:)

12:35pm-go out the wrong way of the parking garage, have to 3 point turn myself back the right way, that parking garage and i just didn't get along all day

1pm-chase sleeps the entire way home so i run by the bank

1:30pm-get home, feed chase a 7 course meal, he is hungry

2pm-sit down for what feels like the first time all day, chase plays with toys, babbles, and is back to his old self again

2:04pm-look at max, see she has PINK EYE. in BOTH eyes. look at my mom, laugh, text briar to see if she can bring brennan home from preschool, call pediatrician's office for the 50th day in a row

2:50pm-leave with max for the doc, she is crying and mad, doesn't want to go "I NOT SICK!!! I TIRED!"

3:15pm-pink eye, pink eye, pink eye, check, check

4pm-harmon's drive thru pharmacy...drops, drops, drops

5pm-home, home, home

mom bought us pizza and formula at costco.

sean gets home late from work.

max hates her drops.

says they sting.

chase doesn't mind his drops.

brennan asks to go to bed early.

yipee.

thank goodness it's friday.

i'm gonna need a punch card for the pediatrician from now on.

really, you should get one visit free after 10 visits.

especially if it's 10 visits in the same month.
kind of like the shave ice shack.
i told the doc that, he laughed.
but i didn't see any comment boxes to drop my idea in...

this week's wrap up review:

monday-me strep

tuesday-ent doc with chase

wednesday-feeling better from strep

friday-tubes surgery chase, double pink eye max

good grief.

in the words of doc holliday 

{tombstone--greatest western movie EVA!!!}, 

"this is funny."

but without the whole dying without wearing your cowboy boots parts.

just the funny part.

the party crib {the night before tubes}

THE PARTY CRIB.

note max picking her nose in the back of the bus.

eyes closed for intensity.

{they climbed in after chase woke up from his afternoon nap, 

and played together for half an hour.}

{i love that they are all friends.}

.......

i made chase a king's feast for dinner tonight.

cheeseburger,

tomato slices,

and

sweet potato fries.

and then topped him off with a big bowl of oatmeal and nursed him.

the poor chap has no idea that there will be no food tomorrow morning.

he does however earn himself a fancy pair of tubes in return.

11:30am sharp!

no formula or food after 4:30am

no breastmilk or anything in the mouth after 6:30am

i'm thinking life is gonna feel pretty tough for him by about 10am

or 7am.

whichever.

but oh baby they tell me it's worth it:)

i hope they are right. 

the baby man may in fact become an ear, nose, and throat man himself.

he sure likes checking everyone else's out.

and brennan lets him.

they both laugh hysterically the entire time.

and max pouts b/c she feels left out.

but really she hates it when he grabs at her face.

i'm so glad they are brothers.

 ear, nose, and throat...

or bird watching.

maybe it was cars.

whichever.