"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

like when you realize your kids have started bribing their friends

my bribery methods of parenting have reached EPIC proportions.
there's just no other way to get the small people to move when i need them to move.
and since i can BARELY move, i can't make anyone else move unless they wanna move.
this will probably continue through summer.
as i will hopefully be tethered to a small little animal that requires me to not move,
and makes me unable to make anyone else move unless they wanna move too.
it's the greatest thing on the planet until it's not.
like when you realize your kids have started bribing their friends to get them to do what they want,
and you think,
hmmm, maybe this is a bad habit?
but then you're like,
nah, it DON'T MATTER!
cause ain't nobody got time to coax a toddler into his carseat,
when "i'll give you a bag of popcorn when you get in your carseat!" works so great.
so fast!
so efficient!
such a great little bandaid.
and so much immediate gratification for all involved.
there's nothing that gets kids to move like a bag of popcorn.
totally worth the kernels all over the floor of the car.
so we're going with it folks,
b/c my body can barely carry itself around right now,
and the little people know it.
they are in complete control.
and i'm pretty sure they know it.
the tiny army that controls my life that we created.
they run us!
but let's all just pretend to live the illusion that we run them.
i'm still trying to figure out if i'm the smart one,
or it they're the smart ones.
clever little creatures.
good thing i've got two more bags of popcorn.
stay tuned for THAT story later.
it's a real gem, and it involves the splits.

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