bieber standing by my bed.

tonight i feel like a grown up.
up until my 18th birthday,
my parents would lay out little sus's at my breakfast place to be there on my birthday morning.
not all of the presents.
just a few to make my birthday extra special before heading off to school.
oh how i LOVED my birthday on a school day.
balloons,
locker treats,
choir class singing me a birthday song,
going out to lunch,
but the breakfast sus presents always made the day complete.
almost like christmas morning.
but better.
b/c they were all for me!
bieber is getting extra spoiled this year with a little more than a few sus's.
lucky little dude.
i'm so excited for him to come into our room tomorrow morning.
he said he wanted waffles and whipped cream for breakfast.
hopefully it won't be at 3:30am.
like last night.
we finally mustered the energy to convert his crib into a toddler bed on tuesday night.
until tuesday, he had said he wanted to stay in his crib.
tuesday, he was a new man.
wanting a big boy bed.
we said we would change it when he asked.
biggest shocker is that he's napping again.
amazing.
so at 3:30am last night.
my eyes popped open to my darling little bieber standing beside my bed.
in a whispered voice i heard,
"mommy, i awake."
uh yes, i think you're right.
go back to bed, i say.
"mommy, i all done sleeping."
no sir, no, go back to bed.
"yes sir, i awake."
which is when i rolled over and started hitting sean in the arm.
or maybe the chest?
maybe the head?
i can't remember.
i just started pushing him so he would wake up and handle this.
i surely did not want to get up.
sean got out of bed
(he handles most of the nighttime stuff b/c the man literally can be awake and asleep in the middle of the night at the same time.)
i cannot.
once i'm fully up.
i'm up.
and who knows when i'm falling back to sleep.
if somebody really needs mommy,
period,
then i'm up,
but if it's a quick fix,
sean's the man.
i love him.
so sean got up,
walked around the bed,
and brennan dug his face into my armpit.
"no, i stay with mommy. i awake."
after trying to talk him into walking back on his own,
sean finally picked him up,
got him a drink downstairs,
and at some point before 4:30am got him back to bed.
and as i cleaned out my car tonight i started to think.
i already miss having little babies and toddlers.
which is odd b/c i have them right now.
what i mean,
is that i'm so in love with this baby and toddler that i don't ever want it to end.
i can be tired.
i can be frustrated and drained.
but can i please just have this baby and toddler,
where we hang out all day.
and just go about life without anything demanding us.
can we just do this always?
b/c i already miss it,
and i'm in it.
every single minute.
i am trying to drink in.
slowly.
but this is only how i'm feeling today.
b/c a month ago,
i was feeling exhausted,
overrun,
depleted,
and completely overwhelmed.
funny how it works that way.
bipolar mama is happy today.
very
very
happy today.

Twenty something with toddlers

Free firework show in my backyard.
Told Sean to come watch.
Then after 5 minutes a group of 20 teenagers came running down the sidewalk.
Sounded like the running of the bulls.
Then a few neighbors came out.
They were mad.
It takes a lot of guts to yell at teenagers in your night robe.
Then more neighbors.
Then the cops.
These were some first class illegal fireworks my friends.
And very enjoyable when it's not your teenagers!
Told Sean it's nice to watch from afar and have no responsibility.
Not our kids.
Didn't wake up our kids (amazing).
Not old enough to feel disrespected.
Maybe we could just stay twenty something with toddlers and babies forever?
Ok:)








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such a CREAK in the neck.

i use toothpaste when i have zits. it works. really well.

makes for a funny site the next morning.

tonight i can check off getting hit from behind at a red light off of my bucket list.
man am i glad.
it was truly one of my life's endeavours.
and you want to know what i'm thinking about?
the poor gentlemen that hit me.
i can't stop thinking about how badly i feel for him.
he said he had just left the mechanic from getting his brakes fixed.
guess they weren't fixed.
he kept asking me if i was ok.
my neck was sore.
and i have a headache.
and everyone just kept asking me if i was ok.
but i don't really remember anyone making sure he was ok.
it was the first thing i asked him.
he said he was.
he had a bruise on the upper left part of his forehead.
said he had slammed his head into the steering wheel.
he seemed shaken.
dizzy.
out of sorts.
couldn't stop my hands from shaking to write out the police report.
felt like jello all over.
and to top it off i was standing there soaking wet with a striped beach towel on my head (actually i unconsciously removed it before getting out of my car) b/c i was on my way home from swimming.
soaking wet, including hair, still in swimsuit under sweats makes for a chilly night in the middle of state street in utah in march.
although jan and feb would have been worse.
i think it was only in the 30's tonight.
i just wish i would have been more concerned about him.
rather than calling and texting my people.
lesson learned.
i think i'll call the officer tomorrow to see if the man is ok.
after an hour on the phone with my insurance company and his, i was given several case and claim numbers.
which by some miracle i've managed to keep all on the little business card from officer colton.
he was so kind.
so was the man that hit me.
his poor car.
it went under mine.
and after an hour with the insurance companies i was reminded by a few friends that b/c my car seats were in the car, along with whatever is rattling under my car, need to be replaced.
and i just couldn't stop thinking about this poor man.
who had by the looks of his car obviously been dealt a different fortune than myself.
it made me want to give more to others.
appreciate more what i have.
and glad i had my driver's license, current reregistration, and insurance with me.
have mercy.
...
doesn't max look different today?

 above: max growling

(she randomly does it. so i growl back. and it goes on and on back and forth

it's a little low growl that will make anyone laugh.)

 i am so blessed.

"i want pancakes sean."

brennan knows that sunday means pancakes.
sometimes waffles.
my favorite.
but he calls them both pancakes.
i put chocolate chips in them,
but brennan usually eats half of the bag standing at the counter during the process.
so this morning he bounds out of bed and wants pancakes.
sean gets out of bed first, while i linger in the waking up phase.
it always take me longer to snap out of sleep.
especially when sean is home.
so i finally mosie downstairs onto the fainting chair in the front entry.
convince sean to come keep me company,
while max plays with the airport.
from around the corner we hear,
"i want pancakes."
we say,
"ok, pancakes. we're making pancakes, just a minute."
then again,
"i want pancakes."
then the head peeks around the corner and says,
"i want pancakes sean."
we look at each other and sean says,
"did he just call me sean?"
we look back at bieber.
he says,
"i want pancakes sean."
we laugh and say,
"i think he just really did call you sean!"
so i say,
"come here and give me a kiss and we'll get up to make pancakes."
he replies,
"no, not yet. i want pancakes sean."
funny funny funny little dude.
who later stuck up for me when "sean" was squirting me with water from the dishwasher to which bieber said,
"stop doing that sean dad! stop doing that sean."
i love him.
both of them:)

also...

max tested positive for rsv today.

awesome:)

can't believe it was exactly two years ago this weekend when we went through it all with brennan.

hoping we learned enough to keep little miss max out of the hospital.

b/c even though i loved their rasberry lemonade,

it's not worth the visit to PCH.

however,

the after birth coctail they serve at st mark's.

that's another story.

counter treat

i think this means i like the red.
thanks aunt mary!

at our house.

 FRIDAY.

 FRIDAY.

FRIDAY MORNING.

at our house.

Sus's & Ya-Ya's

Sus's. (suh-ses)
They are my favorite.
A tradition.
Mama Sandie started it when we were kids.
Short for surprise.
Something you're not expecting.
A fun little treat.
Ya-ya's are good too.
They are little trinkets you are begging for in the store, with no good reason for getting it.
They don't have to be expensive.
In fact, the $2 items are sometimes the very best!
So today I got the boys some sus's at the store.
Under $10 total and well within the weekly budget.
I can't wait!
p.s.
sean totally read this before i had a chance to surprise him.
dang it.

Captain Hook and Peter Pan

Peter pan and captain hook sailing their ship to Neverland.

I love hearing them laugh with each other.
Hurry, the crocodile is coming;).

Quarantined

Sinus infection for me.

Feels like someone punched me in the face.
Double ear infection for max.
And a red throat.
This is week 7 of my cold that won't go away.
The physicians assistant at urgent care assures me that I am now the proud owner of super charged antibiotics that should whip me right into shape.
Let's hope.
As for max, tubes may be in her future.
This is her third ear infection (fourth if you count this one for two bc it's one infection in both ears) in two months.
Just quarantine us.
We won't be offended.

Honey do.

Tonight is honey do.

Sean's idea.
I love him.
Christmas lights finally came down.
I never used to understand how people could leave their Christmas lights up well into the new year.
Now I get it.
They're busy!
Or just don't feel like doing it when they're not busy.


Well today we are busy with our list.
Now the toilet won't leak when you lean back on it.
This will make for a much more relaxing bath time for whomever is giving the bath.
Brennan just told us he wants to be a plumber and he spilled potty water on the toilet.
Sean assures me it's the clean kind.
Max is getting into the tools.
Nails.


And I'm hot.
The heating vents are really good in the upstairs bathroom.
And I'm wearing socks.

Oh boy, this is about to get really exciting.


You'd better believe I took that roll away after I took that shot.
I'm just wondering how long it will take for us girls to get banished from this project.
Not long.


I love Saturday nights:)