"experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -randy pausch

Friday, February 19, 2010

destructo the toddler

adios cord
innie or outie?
a strawberry went flying across my kitchen table tonight.
my eyes veered to the toddler.
the "shock and amazement eyes" that turned to "the look."
the one my parents perfected over the years that i am now working on myself.
the eyebrows and lids must be slightly lifted, with the head tilted ever so gently to the right.
sometimes a sigh may need to follow.
a lot of the time our "look" is done while choking back laughter.
in this case, the lips must curl inward to the mouth to prevent obvious smiling.
after the second strawberry flew toward the couch destructo's tray was promptly removed.
i felt like i was in one of the wells fargo "i'm there" commercials.
another place "i'm there" is diaper central.
i am AMAZED at how many times i change max, only to have her empty herself into another.
we went through 3 (count them, THREE!) diapers in under 5 minutes this afternoon.
i wish i could say i didn't put her socks and pants on after each time, but i did.
i put them back on each time.
getting more and more distraught that one child could poop that much.
i don't remember brennan doing this at all.
maybe i was just too tired to remember.
sean has just informed me that destructo the toddler has broken the drawer in our coffee table.
to which i replied, "we have to get out."
all of this COOPED-upness is driving the pork loin crazy.
and me!
thank goodness tomorrow's saturday.
plans for the aquarium have already been made.
the only thing that's still undecided is if max and i will join.
the pediatrician says to isolate for 12 weeks.
yeah right.
has ANYONE ever made it the entire 12 weeks???
if so, let me know, i'm calling the Vatican to recommend your sainthood.
and then i'm calling queen elizabeth.
if elton john can be knighted, so can you.
i lasted 5 weeks with brennan, but i didn't really want to go anywhere so it was no big deal.
i woke up with a cold yesterday, and max has a slight sniffle,
so why the heck are we staying in if we're going to get sick here anyway???
have no fear,
i'm sure i will make my decision based off of pure selfishness,
whether we go or not.
or based off of my memories of having a one year old hospitalized for rsv (click link) at primary children's a year ago next week.
i give you, destructo the toddler:

lessons learned in motherhood today...

as long as i can get my shower, the day will always be ok.

nursing is possible while standing up and cleaning mac and cheese and peas off of a bib. i did not previously believe this.

children that wake up at 6am and 6:30am are greeted by a grumpy mommy. no exceptions.

however, if children smile and are pleasant, mommy can be swayed to a "no teeth" smile momentarily (as long as a shower is soon to follow-see first lesson above).

p.s. destructo just dumped 3 cups on water onto the bathroom floor. awesome. so glad max just woke up to nurse. this means i get to bring sean a towel and go bond with my baby. go me:-)

oh weekend, i'm so glad you're here:-)

6 comments:

Dana said...

Hilarious!

keri said...

Just come over anytime!! Bring Brennan and he and Maddie can beat at each other and you can get out of the house for a bit. Honestly, you need to keep some sanity. AND it doesn't hurt for me to have some adult conversation once in a while too.

The Medrano Fam said...

Thanks for the reminder that I'm not the only one with a destructo toddler and a newborn who poops CONSTANTLY!!! The other day we went through 3 outfits in 30 min! How is Brennan doing with Max? Charlie tries to "love" Matthew a little too much. I found a tic tac in his chair today, that Char tried to feed him!

Sue said...

The weekend is here! Bring on the reinforcements!!

=)

PS. I have to laugh that the loin is now Destructo.

Jess said...

I think it's time for a girl movie fest, I'll schedule it this week. Sorry for being such a busy/lame friend lately. And I did make it 12 weeks not by choice though, in rural Il there isn't much of an alternative

Emmy said...

Ah, the joys of two kids :)
Thank goodness for the weekend when daddy is around. I know I needed a weekend myself desperately.

I always make it at least 6, but that is because I have c-sections and I can't drive for 6.. so it kind of forces me to obey