max was here.

max was missing.
who knows for how long.
i was vacuuming.
and then i was making mac and cheese.
i swore she was watching Aladdin with the boys.
she wasn't.
then i found her.
playing in the toilet like she was a cat in the fish bowl.
with her shirt and a 3 foot radius soaked in "fish bowl" water.
it was gross.
and funny.
in a gross "oh no" i can't help laughing kind of way.
so i closed the door.
washed max's hands.
stripped off her shirt.
ate a pot of mac and cheese with the kids.
and two hours later remembered i had half a roll of wet toilet paper laying on the floor in my bathrooms upstairs.
with a 3 foot radius of pooling water.
oops!
thank you beach towels and paper garbage bags:)
and soap.
MAX=TROUBLE

max meets tantrum

max meets the tantrum phase.

i don't think a tantrum has ever looked so cute.
pitifully cute.
with a shrieky cry and gaspy breathing-in to go with it.
all because 20 minutes of being pushed on brennan's balance bike was just not long enough for her.
ok, maybe 20 minutes is an exaggeration.
it was more like 15...or 10.
look, i'm not really sure how long it was.
but it felt like 20 minutes,
and apparently, she needed an eternity of being pushed on the balance bike.
and well,
i was tired and hot after 20 minutes.
or 10.
whichever.
so the ride was over.
and she was mad.
such a little pixie.

MISSING!!!

missing: baby max!
found: toddler

  

i can't believe what a big girl i've got!

she did not like getting her hair done for the first time.

but after i had to put them back in 6 times before lunch,

she sat there and took it like a champ.

love her guts.

100 yogurt covered raisins

treat.
he needed one at the grocery store today.
i needed him to have one at the grocery store today.
instead of grabbing cookies i picked what felt like a healthier option on the dried fruit aisle.
yogurt covered raisins.
i'm sure they are equally unhealthy, but i'm going to give myself extra points for picking what felt like the "healthier" option.
go me.
he ate and was pleasant for the rest of our trip.
just as we're pulling up to the checkout i'm feeling really great.
lots of good self talk in my head.
go us.
made it through the store w/o tantrums.
max asleep.
groceries w/in budget.
7 different vegetables in my cart AND fish.
i'm so awesome.
this is what i was saying to myself.
head held high.
closed mouth smile.
you know, we're picture perfect parading through the store.
i'm so awesome.
then he dumps the entire bag upside down and the tiny little balls of yogurt covered raisins go everywhere.
not awesome.
i'm an idiot.
no i'm not.
stupid candy makers!!!
deep breath.
take picture.
laugh.
don't look around.
it's always less embarrassing if i'm not worrying about what is going on around me.
then it becomes more humorous.
and if i don't have my humor, i have nothing.
console screaming toddler who has just lost all of his treat.
put all 100 hundred yogurt covered raisins back in the bag.
maybe it wasn't 100, but it felt like 100.
trying to decide if i care that they've all been on the grocery store floor.
won't kill him.
those small hairs are gross.
dirt is ok.
makes them healthier!
put them in the cart to give myself more time to decide if i'm going to let him eat them.
text bree.
smile at the checker.
she gets my son a balloon.
he lets the balloon go.
double awesome.
pay.
remember to get my groceries from drive and load.
go me.
go to costco.
toddler spills soda in cart.
good thing he missed max.
she's awake now.
looking at me with a big smile.
promise Popsicles to toddler if he stays sitting in the cart through the checkout.
tantrum thrown.
checker gives him the thing that separates my stuff from the person after me's stuff.
happy toddler.
happy mama.
go home.
collapse.
i wish.
yogurt covered raisins still sitting on my counter.
and that was just the first half of my day.

normalcy

there's nothing i love more than turning a can of olives back and forth.
yes, i'm being completely serious.
have you done it lately???
you can feel the olive juice going through the olives.
so soothing.
just like returning to a sense of normalcy.
as simple as cooking dinner for my family.
not the same as before.
but familiar.
in a brand new kind of way.

(our attempt at "tummy time". can't you tell she thinks it's riveting!!??)
gosh, i love these kids.

destructo the toddler

adios cord

innie or outie?

a strawberry went flying across my kitchen table tonight.

my eyes veered to the toddler.

the "shock and amazement eyes" that turned to "the look."

the one my parents perfected over the years that i am now working on myself.

the eyebrows and lids must be slightly lifted, with the head tilted ever so gently to the right.

sometimes a sigh may need to follow.

a lot of the time our "look" is done while choking back laughter.

in this case, the lips must curl inward to the mouth to prevent obvious smiling.

after the second strawberry flew toward the couch destructo's tray was promptly removed.

i felt like i was in one of the wells fargo "i'm there" commercials.

another place "i'm there" is diaper central.

i am AMAZED at how many times i change max, only to have her empty herself into another.

we went through 3 (count them, THREE!) diapers in under 5 minutes this afternoon.

i wish i could say i didn't put her socks and pants on after each time, but i did.

i put them back on each time.

getting more and more distraught that one child could poop that much.

i don't remember brennan doing this at all.

maybe i was just too tired to remember.

sean has just informed me that destructo the toddler has broken the drawer in our coffee table.

to which i replied, "we have to get out."

all of this COOPED-upness is driving the pork loin crazy.

and me!

thank goodness tomorrow's saturday.

plans for the aquarium have already been made.

the only thing that's still undecided is if max and i will join.

the pediatrician says to isolate for 12 weeks.

yeah right.

has ANYONE ever made it the entire 12 weeks???

if so, let me know, i'm calling the Vatican to recommend your sainthood.

and then i'm calling queen elizabeth.

if elton john can be knighted, so can you.

i lasted 5 weeks with brennan, but i didn't really want to go anywhere so it was no big deal.

i woke up with a cold yesterday, and max has a slight sniffle,

so why the heck are we staying in if we're going to get sick here anyway???

have no fear,

i'm sure i will make my decision based off of pure selfishness,

whether we go or not.

or based off of my memories of having a one year old hospitalized for rsv (click link) at primary children's a year ago next week.

i give you, destructo the toddler:

lessons learned in motherhood today...

as long as i can get my shower, the day will always be ok.

nursing is possible while standing up and cleaning mac and cheese and peas off of a bib. i did not previously believe this.

children that wake up at 6am and 6:30am are greeted by a grumpy mommy. no exceptions.

however, if children smile and are pleasant, mommy can be swayed to a "no teeth" smile momentarily (as long as a shower is soon to follow-see first lesson above).

p.s. destructo just dumped 3 cups on water onto the bathroom floor. awesome. so glad max just woke up to nurse. this means i get to bring sean a towel and go bond with my baby. go me:-)

oh weekend, i'm so glad you're here:-)

the replacement.

i've been to every store within a 30 min radius of my house.
sounds unimpressive, but with a toddler in a coat that naps in the middle of the day it's a small miracle.
i've googled, i've "amazoned."
above is what i was able to gather the week before christmas.
donna, the assistant manager at target, told me i was lucky to find it.
apparently, nativity sets were a "hot item this year."
her words, not mine.
she informed me there are none at target in the entire state of utah.
she checked on her hand held device and showed me.
at least i didn't go to two targets before i found that piece of ditty out.
this one was not from target.
it's hand painted.
ceramic.
and looks absolutely NOTHING like the one brennan
crashed to smithereens.
there's was white.
it was 20 pieces.
with large camels.
there are no camels in this one.
and baby jesus looks a little questionable.
sigh.
this is not what i wanted.
i hope to deliver it tomorrow.
i've been working on "sorry" with the pork loin.
hopefully it will give the entire episode a little extra touch to win them over.
i used some of my birthday money to buy it.
i'm thinking i should have pulled the funds from brennan's college account.
that's what i really wanted to do.
there was no money left in the budget this week, and the funds had to come from somewhere.
then i thought it was more my fault than his, seeing as i am "the adult" now.
whatever that means.
...
the scout master takes his FINAL final tomorrow.
i was signed up to bring cookies to the FINAL final party.
"THE" cookies.
so i'm baking tonight.
it's a tasty job.
that requires lot of hand washing with the amount of tasting i do.
what can i say, i love the dough.
i don't eat the cookies.
just the dough.
with a large glass of milk that i refill at least once.
i've heard it does a body good.
...
my visiting teacher made the news today.
she delivered her baby at home around 1:30am this morning.
she did not plan on a home birth.
her water broke, she hurried to get dressed, and then she realized the baby was coming right then.
9lbs. 3 oz.
one more oz. and she would have had a brennan!
what a champ!
the really crazy part?
this makes 3 for 3 of her children born on dec. 15th.
click here for a 1 min. video clip of the story.
...
why do "they" clap at the stock exchange when all of the stocks are down???
someone, please explain.
the end.

spilled cup and a great laugh

projects.
i'm finding that when you're cooped up inside with a toddler, they need projects.
it's work to get the stuff out.
it's work to help them do it.
it's work to clean the stuff up.
but it's better than the whining of a bored toddler.
and it's better than having destruct-o toddler roar it's head.
not sure if i can do painting more than once a week.
hopefully santa will bring play-do.
and that the stork or Dr. N will bring the little lady before valentine's day.
it's officially painful to turn over at night.
and not in the same way it was with brennan.
so at the risk of sharing too much, we'll just leave it at that.
brennan spilled the water cup on his.

i still think it's quite charming:-)

...

"more videos" for the scout master.

i really wish i could find a way to make money off of my kid's laugh.

and sense of humor.

movie pillow

what is the toddler doing during general conference?

watching woody and buzz on the little tv with the movie pillow.
drinking lots of chocolate milk.
this helps with sedation.
...
other excerpts from the weekend festivities:
baked scones with rasberry butter & honey, hot chocbirthday dinner for the scout master.
stroganoff
jello salad
green beans
billowing rolls (my fav part)
cake
cookies