cage free

slowly, but surely, i've found myself becoming an organic goddess.

it's expensive.

it's hippie.

it's something i swore i'd never do.

and it's now me.

i wonder if they play classical music for these chickens?

bahahahahaha.

for $3.99 a dozen,

those chickens better be fed from golden platters!
now,

about that grass fed beef...

diaper bag breakfast

i am both proud and ashamed that brennan fed himself breakfast out of the snack bag in my diaper bag.
i also gave him half of a banana and peanut butter 3 hours later.
it made me feel better about the entire morning.
also, my car was broken into last night.
and nothing was stolen.
thank goodness.

escape

between the kids, work, searching for a house, broken dishwasher, broken toilet, sick babies, and lenders, i completely forgot how to be married.

sitting on the lawn with sean at the john mayer concert i thought about this.

in the first set we were side by side.

by the middle guitar acoustic we were cozy under the blanket.

by the last set we were cuddled and remembering what it feels like to actually date again.

free from stress.

free from responsibilities.

escaped from all of our duties for 3 hours.

pizza, soda, and a blanket for two.

...

the bajio hats were our ticket in.

we were "employees."

marketers, soTAspeak;-)

hot old man "the hook up" provided our tickets and he and mama nacho took the kids.
our $18 dinner made me wish we would have gone through a drive thru before we got to the amphitheater.

the group sitting next to us on the lawn made me glad i'm married with kids.

...

shocker of the night goes to the girl 10 feet away from us who decided to drop trout and squat on the grass for a potty break.

b/c man, those bathrooms down the stairs were just too far of a trek.

seriously, i've seen my fair share, but this one really threw me.

go ahead and vomit now.

we almost did.

it's better if you just turn your head and focus on the concert.

...

we also had an epiphany that highly intoxicated people, no matter the substance of use, are identical to toddlers.

they must be coerced and bribed to do what you want them to do.

they will throw a tantrum if the bribe is not better than what they want to do at that moment.

and they do things that embarrass the other people who are coherently responsible for them.

outbursts,

throwing themselves on the ground,

yelling,

screaming,

crying,

hitting,

see?

same thing.

...

also, i have learned in the past week that there is nothing more terrifying or stressful than buying a home.

i am tired.

the end.

blatanly shoving them

not exactly sure what his plan was.
pretty sure no one won.
maybe it was a tie???
he lost a point for getting caught.
but i surely didn't gain a point b/c i didn't make him eat them.
does that mean he won a point?
b/c he didn't end up eating them?
or does it even out b/c he lost a point for getting caught?
win a point for not having to eat them,
but lose a point for getting caught.
score still zero?
i was too busy laughing at him blatantly shoving them under his bum.
and by the way...
where does he learn this stuff???

STILL

In case you were wondering, my computer is STILL broken.

mercy, all toilets should.

our toilet doesn't flush with gusto.
that means that this porcelain beauty has had the pleasure of guarding my door step all day.
the scout master says it reminds him of a high school prank.
this coming from the man that used to unplug beth's alternator on her vw bug.
he and his friends would stand across the street and watch her try to fix it.
mean boys.
new dishwasher.
installed.
glory be, i didn't know how much i loved having one until it was broken.
the sweet sound of water running through it is music to my ears.
2 weeks without a dishwasher will drive you insane.
at least for the first few days.
new toilet,
currently being installed.
hopefully the new one will flush with gusto.
b/c mercy,
all toilets should.

moment of truth

the hardest part about a budget is the list.
the grocery list.
the bills are usually the same.
dependable.
reliable.
but the list.
it's the big kahuna.
for me.
ever changing.
needing constant manipulation.
bang for buck!
so the big moment in the store when i look at my list and i see there are no double dipped chocolate covered peanuts on it, i reach the moment of truth.
put some bananas back?
no.
ignore the list?
no.
put them in my cart?
yes.
b/c they were on the running list in my head anyway...
...
and AMY, my clipboard rocks.
thanks:-)

catnip

i remember someone telling me that whatever you make it will never be enough.

unless you decide that it is enough.

b/c you'll always spend what you make.

but dangling catnip in front of a cat never makes a cat happy either.

at least, not if you're not going to give the cat its catnip.

unless they've never tasted catnip.

so maybe you just shouldn't buy catnip in the first place.

too late, your cat's already smelled it walking down the aisle.

you might as well open the bag right there in the store.

and decide it's enough:-)

or you could just let the cat never taste what it now knows to dream about.

mercy, those eyes.

CARL.

who needs invisible friends when you have talking carl?
the pork loin grabs my phone.
gets through all of the screens.
opens talking carl.
then talks to him about everything he is doing.
talking carl loyally repeats every word.
word for word.
when i'm in the back of the house it sounds like he has a friend over.
like mason, or wilder, or maddie.
carl, your friendly childhood neighbor.
at your service.
for only 99 cents.
*phone not included.

madder than a wet hen.

my babies both have fevers.
the pork loin watched robin hood 3 times today.
the best thing about sick babies is guilt free tv watching.
another movie?
why yes, i'd love to put one on for you.
your 7th popsicle?
sure!
max didn't spike until dinner.
one minute she was chuckling,
the next minute she was madder than a wet hen.
fortunately, we've had no upchucking.
fevers i can handle.
upchucking is not in my job description.
everyone's on bubblegum motrin,
with a side of sleep.
max was so hot that she lost her clothes privileges.
maybe my computer has a fever.
where can i insert the motrin?
...
the scout master was beside himself tonight
when it was discovered that i'd never seen the movie airplane.
am i alone in this?
also, max has a full 1/2 inch of hair.
i may have to throw a celebratory party.
or just pull out the gel.
too soon for the blow dryer?